I saved you a space
by ly.moanna
Summary: After a particularly traumatising and dangerous case Veronica returns home to Neptune to reconnect with her friends and family… and Logan. But it's been ten years and they've both changed, is there still room for her in his life?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Veronica Mars, just taking them out to play.

* * *

Veronica was tired, her muscles were still aching from being tied to a chair for fourteen hours, but more than that was the deep ache in her bones. She'd failed, yes she'd caught the bad guy, but a girl had died, hell she'd almost died. The exhaustion seeped into her bones and it was going to be a long time before it faded. It had been a long time since she had felt happy but she'd been coping just fine.

As she had sat there, in the dark, damp basement of the abandoned church, waiting for death she couldn't help wonder was it worth it. As a profiler specialising in murder and rape cases things were going to be grim. The trick was to become detached, something she had been struggling with these past few months.

Then Sheehan had decided to make it personal, taunting her, putting the victims' lives on her and Veronica had snapped. She'd been desperate and reckless, trying to catch the killer. She could lie to herself and say it was to save the girl she was holding over her, but that hadn't been it at all Veronica wanted to get this woman personally. For making it personal, for mocking her, for making her jump through hoops and for violating her carefully constructed sanctuary.

She'd been cleared by the medics an hour ago but Veronica was still in a daze as she walked into her apartment building. She got there just as Mrs Doherty, her downstairs neighbour was leaving. The woman stared at Veronica for almost a full minute, eyes wide with shock, before she spoke.

"Veronica what happened?" she asked, reaching out for her.

The threat of touch startled Veronica from her thoughts, she flinched and pulled away before the woman could make contact. She shook her head and stepped away from her neighbour. Looking down at herself, she was almost surprised to find she was really there. She was a mess. Her white shirt was stained red and her hands looked scraped and bloody. She knew from the throbbing in her cheek that she was sporting some bruises.

"It's not my blood," she mumbled, trying to get past her.

Mrs Doherty grabbed her arm, ignoring her struggle and stopped her getting into the building. "Veronica you shouldn't be on your own," she insisted.

"I'm fine, it was just a bad day," she said, sidestepping the older woman and walking into the building. She knew she was still watching her so she hurried into the elevator before she ran into anyone else.

When she got to the apartment she unlocked the door with shaking hands. She had held it together for the entire cab ride home, but she knew as soon as she walked into the empty apartment she would break down.

Taking a deep breath Veronica stepped inside and locked the door behind her. She leant against it, letting her head fall back against the wood and her eyes fall closed. As the reality of the situation hit, her body went lax and she dropped her keys before slumping to the floor in defeat.

She hugged her knees as the sobs wracked her body. It was all too much, she couldn't do this anymore. Murder, rape, child abuse, these cases had worn her down till she felt like she had nothing else to give. It had been years since she'd seen anything good in the world. She knew she needed out of the FBI, out of New York. For the first time in ten years she wanted to go home. She laughed at the thought of Neptune as home. But she'd never tried to make a home here. Of course Neptune was still her home, she'd left in a rush, a spontaneous decision. She had so much unfinished business there.

Veronica screamed in frustration as the flashbacks hit her again. She looked down at her blood stained blouse and tried to convince herself that she couldn't have saved Elizabeth Johnson. As she ran through the memories in her head various scenarios presented themselves to her. Things she could have done differently, how she should have avoided the traps. If she really looked at it she had become as obsessed with Sheehan as she had with her. She ripped off the shirt in anger and squeezed it between her fingers, crying as the blood remained on her hands. She stared down at her hands as if they belonged to someone else.

Veronica knew she needed to snap out of this before she lost control; she began to count down in her head from fifty, taking several deep breaths. When she felt a little calmer and her cries had subsided, she pulled herself up from the floor and dragged herself to the shower. She attempted to wash away the blood and guilt with the scalding water, allowing herself to cry again under the spray. It was giving in to weakness one last time before shutting off her emotions. When the water began to run cold she turned it off and began the process of mentally clamping down on her emotions. Building back up her walls and defences, locking away her pain was the only way she knew how to deal with it. She still felt unclean as wandered into her bedroom and collapse onto the bed.

She picked up the phone, dialled the number she still knew by heart and waited for her dad to pick up. Glancing over at her bedside clock Veronica was surprised to see it was eight in the morning. She hadn't even realised it was daytime, it had been a few days since she'd been home, let alone slept. It meant it would be early morning in Neptune, she hoped her dad would be awake.

"Pick up, please pick up," she murmured.

The phone went to the answering machine, so she hung up and dialled again. This time her father answered after five rings.

"Hello? Veronica is that you?"he asked, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Hi dad, I...I..."

"Veronica?"

"Can I come home for a while?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

There was silence on the line for a moment.

"Veronica what's wrong?"

She could hear the worry in his voice; he knew if she wanted to come back something had gone very wrong with her life.

"I'm ok dad. I've just had a long day. In fact I've had a long year. I'm going to take leave… they'll probably make me anyway and I just want to come home for a while." The tears began to spill again. So much for keeping her emotions in check, a psychopath makes one chink in the armour and apparently she was now ticking time bomb of tears and emotion.

"Veronica what happened?"

Veronica hesitated. Her dad knew the case she'd been working on, but he had no idea how involved she'd gotten, how much she'd become invested. How obsessed the killer had become with her.

"It got bad," she admitted.

"The serial killer case?"

Even over the phone she could tell he was really worried now, but she couldn't think of anything to say to stop him worrying. He needed to worry. "Yeah."

"Are you hurt?"

"No," she lied. "But... I couldn't save her dad, it was on me. I had the chance to save her and I was so obsessed with catching _that bitch_ I let the girl die."

"It wasn't your fault Veronica," he said.

"No? Well it sure feels that way."

"Veronica-"

"No I know what you're trying to say. Look can we talk about this when I'm home? I just can't deal, I haven't slept in about a week and I have to be at work in a few hours."

"Alright," he conceded. "You're always welcome here sweetheart."

"Thanks dad, I'll call you with my flight details. It's… it's gonna be pretty soon.

"That's fine honey.

"Talk to you soon Dad."

"Talk to you soon Veronica."

Veronica could tell he wanted to say more, but she hung up before he could ask any more questions. She would have some time to make up something to appease his worries. She settled back on the pillows, she felt absolutely drained, but she knew that sleep was not going to come easy. All she could do was close her eyes and hope the nightmares stayed away. Unfortunately she was not that lucky, and her dreams were plagued with images of Elizabeth Johnson's bleeding throat and Sheehan laughing as she waved the knife at her.

* * *

When Veronica woke up, after only a few hours of fitful sleep, she felt more tired than before. However, although she'd had nightmares and now she had to go face her boss, she felt a strange sense of calm settle over her as she got ready to face the music. She was going home. A week ago, hell even a few days ago the thought of going back to Neptune would have made her laugh. A day ago she was one step away from catching the most prolific serial killer on the east coast in ten years. It should have been the case that made her career, but she'd caught her and she knew it wasn't worth it. She was psychologically scarred from their encounter and she needed to get as far away from it as possible.

As she walked into the office the thought of going home excited her more than she could have believed possible, it kept her going as she walked toward the Director's office. As she thought on her past few months in New York, she realised she hadn't been happy in a long time. In fact she'd been scared, the Sheehan had messed with her head and she thought by catching her she would no longer be afraid. But she was even more afraid, she thought by taking her on she would prove she wasn't weak, but she was. She'd fallen into a trap and had almost been killed. And Elizabeth had died.

It was winter in New York, but Neptune in would just be another day of the permanent summer. She found her mind wandering as she waited to be called, her thoughts drifting to the ocean. When she began to picture the surfers on the waves, when she began to picture a certain surfer, she tried to clamp down on those thoughts before she got carried away.

Who was she kidding though? The first person she wanted to see in Neptune, after her father, was Logan. She couldn't even think of a reason for why she'd stayed away for so long. She'd been determined to prove... what exactly? Even if he'd moved on, which was likely, he was the one person she wanted to talk to. About what had happened, about anything. She just wanted to feel happy again, and happiness was always something she associated with Logan. She hadn't been unhappy her whole time away, she wouldn't have made it this far if she had. But lately solving cases wasn't enough.

"Mars." A sharp voice startled her from her reverie. She stood up from her seat and walked into the office.

"Sir," she said addressing Derek Schneider, her director.

"Sit down Mars."

Veronica sat and watched as Schneider went over the case notes; she braced herself for a disciplining. He sighed and put the folder down. Veronica didn't know why he looked so tired, he hadn't been working this case. She'd been helping the police, but in the end she still had to report back to the FBI.

"Going in there alone was suicide Mars. What did you think was going to happen?" He demanded.

"She wasn't supposed to be there. I wasn't looking for her, just proof that I was correct."

Schneider folded his arms across his chest. "Rebecca Sheehan has been one step ahead of the NYPD this whole case, you should have seen it coming. You were reckless," he said, pointing a finger at her.

"I know. I was desperate," she admitted, slumping in her seat.

"I'm sure you can guess you're not going to be working for a while Mars," he said.

"Yes sir."

"We are grateful that that crazy religious bitch is behind bars, but the risks you took were foolhardy, you were almost killed."

"I know."

"I'm recommending a suspension of six months, and mandatory counselling, you've been through hell."

"I'm going to be staying with my father out in California. I can't stay in New York anymore," Veronica told him.

"Are you asking for a transfer?"

Veronica weighed up her options, should she tell him now or in six months?

"No," she said.

Schneider sighed, but the look on his face told her he had known this was coming for a while. "Take the suspension, see how you feel when the times up."

Veronica nodded.

"California? When are you leaving?"

"As soon as possible," she said, tapping her foot.

"I want you to speak to Dr Wheeler before you leave today, he's expecting you."

"Sir-"

"It wasn't a suggestion it was an order, understood?"

"Yes sir," she relented.

"I'll have follow up appointments set up, I want you to attend them," he said, raising an eyebrow as if he expected her to defy him.

"Yes sir," she agreed.

"Don't disappear, they'll need you to testify, but there's a whole load of psychiatry bullshit first," he said shaking his head. "And Mars? The girl's death was not your fault."

"Elizabeth," Veronica corrected.

"What?" he asked, staring at her in confusion.

"The girl's name was Elizabeth, Elizabeth Johnson." Veronica stood up and walked to the door.

"Go get your head sorted, I don't want to see you for a while," he said, looking worried.

"Yes sir."

As Veronica walked toward the doctor's office she thought of a similar meeting she'd had with Schneider just five months ago. He'd tried to suspend her then, worried that she was getting in too deep, too personally involved, he'd been right of course. Back then Veronica had fought tooth and nail to stay on the case. It hadn't mattered, two days later Sheehan had taken a personal interest in her, the riddles started coming direct to her and she would only answer her. They couldn't suspend her, not when the entire case rested on her shoulders.

Veronica sat down opposite Wheeler. She'd been in this office several times over the past few years, and she still didn't feel comfortable opening up in front of a shrink. It was hardly surprising she didn't feel comfortable opening up to anybody. She knew what was coming.

"You can't blame yourself for the death of Elizabeth Johnson," the doctor said.

And there it was. Usually she'd just agree, appease the good doctor. In fact, she could feel herself nodding as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Yes it was. It _was_ my fault," she said. Huh, that wasn't what she'd planned to say.

"Mars... Veronica, Sheehan was always going to kill her."

"I _know _that. But if I was smart enough to find _her_, don't you think that maybe, if I'd focussed my attention on Elizabeth instead, we could have reached her first?"

"But then Sheehan would have got away," Wheeler argued.

"But Elizabeth would be alive, isn't that what we want, to protect people?" Veronica demanded, rising from her chair and pacing the room.

"Maybe." The doctor watched her as she walked around the room. "But then she would be free to kill again," he reminded her.

"Look I'm not saying it makes sense," Veronica said, sitting down again. "I'm saying I feel guilty for not trying hard enough. For treating this girl like a statistic before she hit the ground."

"You need-"

"I need to go home," Veronica said, cutting the doctor off. That was what she needed, not any of his psychobabble.

"Fine go and rest I'll reschedule-"

"I won't be here, I'm on leave, I'm going back to Neptune." Veronica told him.

"Where's that?"

"California.

The doctor made a note. "Fine, I'll send your files along to a colleague over there. I want you to keep these appointments that I set up for you."

"Thanks Doc." Veronica said, walking to the door without promising anything.

"Good Luck Veronica."

She didn't even stop at her desk as she made her way out of the building. She'd never made any personalisation, never put any photos up, all that was there was stationary and she could pick that up anywhere. Veronica felt the weight lifting off her shoulders as the elevator descended. She knew it wouldn't last and the guilt was still there, at the front of her mind but her relief to be free was fighting for dominance and for now it was winning.

As she walked slowly back toward her apartment she had an idea. She pulled out her cell phone and dialled another familiar number. This one answered on the first attempt.

"Hey Veronica what's up?"

"Hey Wallace, how's it going? Any big plans this weekend?" She asked, leaning against a wall as she spoke.

"Oh yeah you know me, party boy extraordinaire, wild night on the town for me," he joked. "But other than that I'm free."

"Watch out ladies of Chicago," she said, smiling. She was surprised it didn't hurt to do so, it had been so long. "I'm going home Wallace... to Neptune. I just thought, I'd drop in on the way, been a while since I've been in Chicago."

"You ok Veronica?"

"Not even a little bit. I think my career with the FBI maybe well and truly over," she confessed.

"Shit."

"Yeah, but you know what? I'm not upset, I mean I am upset, but not about leaving," she said.

"It must be bad if you're going home," Wallace said, he sounded disbelieving.

As Veronica lent against the wall, she watched the people going about their daily lives as if the city hadn't been terrorised by a serial killer only yesterday. She saw to co-eds walking down the street arm in arm. Up until yesterday they could have been the next victims. She shook her head.

"It got pretty bad," she said.

"You gonna tell me about it?" Wallace asked

"Not over the phone no," she said.

"You going to tell me in person this weekend?" Wallace asked, he didn't sound hopeful.

"It's mostly confidential," she said.

"So that's a no?" He said.

"I'll tell you what I can," she offered

"What you can by law, or what you can bear to reveal?"

"Both, but Wallace it's really bad."

"Then tell me about it, I'm a big boy I'll cope," Wallace said with a sigh. "When you gonna get here?"

"As soon as you'll let me," she said hopefully, pushing off the wall and making her way to her apartment.

"Come whenever you can," Wallace said

"If I can get a flight tonight will I be welcome?"

"Of course."

"Thanks Wallace I'll see you soon," she said gratefully.

"Take care Veronica."

When Veronica got back to her apartment she booked flights to Chicago, and then connecting flights to Neptune a day later. She texted her father and Wallace to let them know her arrival times and then proceeded to pack up her life in New York.

It didn't take long before she had everything she needed right away in her suitcase. She thought over it for a while and then called the landlord to let him know her plans, she was certain now that she wouldn't be coming back. He agreed to cancel her tenancy the month at the end of the next month, it was a popular location and he shouldn't have any trouble filling the apartment. After that she arranged for movers to pick up the rest of her stuff and take it to Neptune the next week. When she was finished, she still had two hours until her Chicago flight with nothing to do to occupy her mind. She repacked her stuff twice, unpacked and cleaned everything again. Then packed it all again. She managed to kill an hour this way.

Veronica thought it was probably not a good thing that she was able to pack up her whole life in little over an hour. She wondered if she had never really settled in New York because she was just waiting to go home again. She sat in silence on her sofa, fidgeting nervously as she waited for time to pass.

When her cell phone rang she jumped to answer it, pleased to see it was her dad.

"Hey Dad," she answered.

"Hey sweetie, I got your message. I just wanted to tell you I'll be there to pick you up from the airport tomorrow night," he told her.

"Thanks dad."

"You're really leaving New York tonight?" He asked.

Veronica leant back into the sofa and thought about it. She couldn't wait to get out of here. "Yes," she said, hoping he would understand.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"I saw your case on the news Veronica-"

"Don't dad, just don't I can't do this right now," she said, hanging her head. She hadn't dared switch on the TV, she knew exactly what would be all over the news.

"Has the bureau arranged any kind of counselling?"

"I'm fine," she said. "But yeah, I'll be seeing a shrink. Not that they can help."

"That's good." He sounded relieved over the line. "Well look I'd better get back-"

"No you don't have to go," Veronica said, a little desperation in her voice. "I'm all packed and ready to go," she informed him.

"Already?"

"Yeah."

"Veronica don't you think it says some-"

"Yes dad. It says that I never really settled here, but I already knew that."

She managed to keep her dad on the line for another twenty minutes, talking about the trivial things in his life. He apologised for boring her, but honestly it was the most exciting conversation she'd had in a while. When she told him as much she knew she'd worried him even more.

* * *

Veronica arrived in Chicago a little after nine. Wallace was waiting for her at baggage collection, she ran toward him already feeling lighter now that she was out of New York.

"Hey Wallace," she said, hugging him.

Wallace moved to let go of her but she held on, so he wrapped his arms around her again.

"Veronica?"

"I'm ok," she said, pulling back.

"That's quite a bruise," he said, pushing her hair back.

"Yeah faces tend to bruise when they're punched."

He shook his head and took her bags.

"Come on, let's go back to mine. You can avoid answering all my questions there," he said but he was smiling.

"You know me so well," she said, smiling back.

"What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't?" he asked as he led her out of the airport.

An hour later Veronica was in Wallace's living room, sipping a beer and avoiding his questions. Wallace was sitting opposite her on the sofa watching her with concern. It wasn't that she wanted to keep what happened a secret, she just didn't want to worry him, which she would is she disclosed full details of what had happened.

"Look Veronica you came here because you needed to talk to someone about this, and you don't want it to be your dad," he said.

Veronica shook her head. Damn he was good.

"I'll be seeing a shrink when I get home," she offered.

"Will you?"

"Yes," she said. She was being honest too, she was going to try therapy, although she was doubtful that it would help.

"And you'll avoid talking then too," Wallace said, getting up to get another beer.

"No can do, I won't pass unless I make progress in my sessions." She informed him.

"Which doesn't matter because you've told me you don't want to go back," he reminded her.

"Damn."

"I'm wise to your ways Veronica Mars. Tell me what happened, just give me something.

"Wallace-"

"I'm scared for you," he said softly.

Veronica felt herself relenting. "You know the case I was working on, with the NYPD?"

"Serial killer guy?"

"Serial killer woman," Veronica clarified.

"You were right then?" Wallace asked, looking impressed but not surprised.

"Damn straight I was right," she said.

"What did you do? You didn't-"

"I just did a little snooping. They were going after the wrong guy I knew it, I just wanted enough to prove-"

Wallace stood up, cutting her off. "Veronica this guy- this woman was obsessed with you. You knew she wanted _you_!" He said, voice rising.

Veronica could see he was angry, and decide it was best that he didn't know quite how badly things had gone after that.

"I had-"

"I don't care if you had a gun!" Wallace shouted.

"She had a girl, she was taunting me."

"Did you save her?"

"She's dead," Veronica said, shuddering as the image of the dead girl entered her mind.

"And you?"

"I'm fine."

"Veronica," he said, sitting down beside her.

"I'm fine," she repeated.

Wallace gave up. "So you quit?"

"Not in as many words but yeah I can't go back. When I… when it got bad I was scared and all I could think was is this it, this is what I've done with my life, is it worth this? At first it was exciting, the job. But these last few years I've been alone in a big city working depressing case after depressing case." She admitted.

"What are you going to do back in Neptune?" Wallace asked.

"No idea," she answered, this was the truth, she had no plan.

"You're going back for your dad right?"

"Yeah I really miss him." She was already feeling relaxed again now that the topic had shifted slightly away from her recent near death experience.

"And?" Wallace pushed, he was sitting with his feet propped on the coffee table, watching her with a knowing smile.

"And?" Veronica repeated, feeling confused.

"He who must not be named"

"Voldemort?" Veronica joked. She considered her real answer carefully. "Maybe," she said.

"Veronica-"

"No don't worry I get it. I know he's probably moved on-" Wallace snorted, but she ignored him. "But I need him in my life, even if he's just my friend. I miss him so much."

"Still?" Wallace asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yeah."

"But _you_ refuse to talk about him," he reminded her.

Veronica stood up and walked over to the window. She stared out at the snow covered streets of Chicago, and allowed her thoughts to drift to Logan, for the second time that day. She wondered what he was doing, she wondered if he still missed her. Maybe not like he used to but they'd been through so much together, that had to count for something right? She still thought of Logan as her oldest friend, even though she hadn't spoken to him in ten years, and she'd known Wallace just as long now. That had to mean something, she needed him as a friend if nothing else.

"Veronica?" Wallace called from the sofa.

She turned around and lent against the windowsill. "I thought it would make it easier but it doesn't."

Wallace was quiet for a while, thinking. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again.

"What?"

He hesitated. "Do you still love him?" he asked, bracing himself for defensive Veronica.

Instead Veronica stayed quiet, sipping her drink. "I think I always will," she said finally.

"Veronica it's been ten years."

"I know," she said, looking back out of the window again, waiting for Wallace to tell her it was a lost cause.

"He hasn't moved on either, you know." Wallace said instead, "I mean he's hardly pining away for you but he still misses you."

Veronica turned back to him. "What?" She asked, going back to the sofa.

"But he has a good life, don't take your shit to him." Wallace warned.

"I won't. I couldn't. Do you talk to him a lot?" she asked.

"Not really. But I try to catch up whenever I'm in Neptune."

"He's happy?"

"Yes," Wallace said, nodding.

"Good," Veronica breathed.

"Really?"

"Yes really, Logan being happy is important to me," she said.

"Even without you?"

Veronica thought about it, while she would be sad if Logan found happiness without her, the fact that he was happy was enough.

"Yeah."

"Well he is happy, he's different too, it's been a long time after all. Look him up when you get home. He'd be happy to hear from you." Wallace informed her.

"Really?"

"Really."

Wallace's assurances made her happier than she could have imagined. She made a plan in her head; go home, sort her head out, catch up with Logan, start her life again. With or without Logan.

"I'm going to go to bed," she said, standing up.

"Night Veronica," Wallace said, standing up too.

"Thanks for listening."

"I hope I helped," Wallace said.

"You really did."

Veronica headed to the spare room. In bed she lay awake for a long time mulling over her conversation with Wallace. She was not going back to Neptune for Logan, she was going back because it was home, where Logan happened to be. She also needed to be near her father again. Plus Mac was there, she made a mental note to inform her friend she would be back. Her thoughts returned to Logan, how would that go? Would he really be happy to see her, after she'd all but disappeared. Probably not, he'd probably be angry.

She'd left for her internship, telling him she needed time apart to sort her head out. Over the summer, being away gave her a lot of time to think and she'd come to the conclusion that she wasn't ready to go back to Logan. She loved him truly she did, but she wasn't ready to let him in. She wasn't ready to show him because she still didn't trust him. And what's more he trusted her too much and far too easily, she knew she'd hurt him too.

So she stayed away, never went back. At the end of the internship, when her mentor offered her a scholarship at Marymount she jumped at the chance. She'd loved the work she was doing, profiling came naturally to her and she ended up with a degree in forensic psychology. She had no idea what had happened when Logan went back for to find she'd transferred. She never let anyone tell her, but she missed him terribly, even wrote several emails that she never sent. She had hoped with time it would get easier and it did but she never stopped missing him.

Wallace had said her that he'd grown up since college. Maybe time apart had done them good. Well scratch that it hadn't done her any good, but if she thought about it she was wrong. She'd had a hard time lately, but she already felt more willing to open up, maybe she was just tired of being alone.

As her thoughts drifted to happy memories of their time together she hoped that would be enough to keep her nightmares away. She'd had regular nightmares since Lilly's death, the bus crash and the night on the roof of the Neptune Grand. She'd told Logan once, in a rare moment of openness, that he kept her nightmares away. He'd smiled and stroked her face, and told her she had nightmares every night and all he could do was hold her until they were over. She told him it was essentially the same thing and snuggled closer.

She woke up two hours later to Wallace shaking her shoulders. She flinched and pushed him back, ignoring the look of hurt and worry on his face. She pulled the sheets tightly around her.

"What happened?" she asked groggily.

"Veronica you were screaming," he informed her, frowning with worry. "What were you dreaming about?"

"The case." She wondered if she would see the death of Elizabeth Johnson every night from now on. She wondered if it would get easier.

"You are going to get help yeah?" Wallace asked.

"Mm." Veronica shrugged.

"Veronica."

"Yes I'll talk to someone," she said.

"What happened to you?"

"It was just a hard case," Veronica said, trying to turn away.

Wallace grabbed her shoulder. "Veronica tell me what happened."

"I got in trouble, it... I was almost killed," she admitted. "And I couldn't save the girl."

"Jesus. How?"

"I... It doesn't matter it's over now. I'm safe now and I'm not going back."

Wallace looked like he wanted to push the matter but he must have seen something in her eyes because he let it drop.

"Fine go to back to sleep, I'll see you in the morning okay?"

Wallace got up to leave but Veronica grabbed his arm. "Don't leave," she whispered, trying and failing to keep the desperation out of her voice.

Wallace didn't comment, just nodded and climbed onto the bed beside her. She was almost asleep when she heard Wallace talking; she stayed very still, listening to him.

"Yeah she's pretty bad," he said.

Veronica couldn't make out the person's response, but whoever it was spoke for a while.

"I think she was hurt, she got into a dangerous situation and its really shaken her," he paused waiting for an answer. "This time was different, she won't say what happened… just that she was nearly killed-"

Wallace was silent for longer this time, Veronica wondered who was on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah I know. Keith she's pretending to be ok now that it's over, but I really don't think she is. She's gonna need a lot of help. I'm glad she's going home," Wallace said.

"Yeah ok, good night Mr Mars, I'll send you a text tomorrow when she's on the plane.

So Wallace was telling on her? Veronica had wanted to keep the near death experience to herself, she hadn't even meant to tell Wallace but in her post nightmare haze it had just slipped out. Now her father wasn't going to let it drop, he was going to be watching her like a hawk.

* * *

Veronica still felt tired as she got on the plane; she'd hardly slept at all last night even with Wallace there. She'd gotten up first thing that morning and spent her Saturday exploring Chicago with Wallace. He had attempted to start up the conversation about New York just the once. After she'd stopped him in his tracks, he'd let the matter go and they'd enjoyed a nice day out.

She sat down in her seat and tried to amuse herself by profiling the other passengers. She made up backstories for all the people around her and was working on a guy sitting two rows in front of her when she drifted off to sleep. Almost as soon as her eyes closed she was transported back to the dark room Sheehan had held her. She was tied to the chair in the middle of the room, in her dream she knew no one was coming to rescue her. She was on her own and Sheehan held the needle to her throat, spitting hate about the sins she had committed.

Veronica twisted in her seat as she approached death in her dream, waking up with a start.

"Are you alright dear?" the woman sitting next to her asked, watching her with concern.

"Yeah just a bad dream," Veronica said, turning away from the woman to catch her breath.

No one else was looking thankfully, she hoped this meant she hadn't been screaming.

"About the plane? I wouldn't worry about it, the chances of crashing are very unlikely. My brother Robert is afraid of flying. I tell him every time, that driving is far more dangerous than flying." The woman smiled.

Veronica smiled back, ready to nod and agree, but obviously something was wrong with her lately.

"Actually I was dreaming I was being murdered," she said instead.

"Ah I... oh," the woman said surprised. "Is that a recurring dream?"

"I think it's going to be. I'm... I was FBI, working a serial killer case. It got bad. I think this is going to haunt me for a long time."

"Good god," the woman said, clutching a hand to her chest.

"Sorry you probably didn't want to hear that," Veronica apologised.

"Not at all, it's good to talk about it," the woman said. "My name is Maggie by the way. So why are you heading to California? Not more serial killers I hope."

Veronica wondered if she was considering changing her plans.

"No nothing like that," she assured her. "I'm going home."

"To your family?"

Veronica nodded.

"Husband?"

"No just my dad. It's sad isn't it? I'm twenty-nine and I'm going to move back in with my dad. I've been living in New York for four years and it took me a little over an hour to pack up my life."

Maggie nodded sympathetically. "Married to the job?"

"Yeah pretty much."

"Well perhaps you can find yourself a handsome man back home, to help chase away the nightmares. Maybe a surfer?" She suggested.

Veronica laughed.

"Something I said, not a fan of surfers?" Maggie asked.

"I used to date a surfer, a long time ago," Veronica explained.

"Oooh I sense a story here," Maggie said, rubbing her hands. "Come on spill, it'll make the flight quicker."

"Not really much to tell," Veronica lied.

"Painful topic?"

"Yeah. No actually not anymore. It was for a long time, I wouldn't even let my friends or family talk about Logan. I didn't want to think about him at all."

Maggie raised an eyebrow.

"I've missed him every day, I haven't spoken to him in ten years but everyday I've missed him."

"Wow. So you're going back for him?"

"No not... Logan's probably moved on, he's not the sort of person who can be alone. But even if he has I just want to see him, I need him in my life even if he's just my friend. I just think I'll be happier living near him.

"So you never-" Maggie clutched the arms of her seat as they hit some turbulence.

Veronica smiled. "I thought you weren't afraid of flying?"

"I'm not, I'm afraid of crashing," Maggie said calmly. "Anyway, you never moved on from your Logan?"

"I tried. Really I did. I just... I was so busy with work, I couldn't maintain a normal relationship. I tried dating other agents, but that was hard too. I've been single for nearly two years. The last couple of cases I worked took up my life."

"Because you let them?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah because I let them."

"You said you were an agent, did you quit?"

"No I'm on leave, but I don't think I can go back."

"I see. Now you're on leave maybe it's time to think about the direction you want your life to go, you've still got plenty of time. I never married, never had children. I have plenty of nieces and nephews though, I had such a large family I never felt lonely. Because I never tied myself down I was able to travel the world, focus on work. I've enjoyed my life thoroughly but I know it's not for everyone." Maggie said.

"I used to think I was better on my own, that I wasn't lonely." Veronica whispered.

"But in the moment..."

"The moment when I was about to die, I felt so alone. And when it was over I knew I had no one to go home to."

"Then it's good that you're getting away from that, it sounds like a horrible life. Go home be with your family, it's the best kind of therapy."

"Thank you for listening to me. Do you know I never open up but lately I can't help myself."

"Near death experiences will do that, it's probably a good thing." Maggie assured her.

"Maybe but I don't want my dad to know what happened, he'll only worry," Veronica said.

"Then you need to tell him you're not ready to talk about it." Veronica nodded and allowed Maggie to steer the conversation to a more pleasant topic. For the rest of the fight they discussed the exciting life the woman had led, never staying in one place for more than a year, living all over the world. Maggie clearly loved it, meeting new people she had friends everywhere, but to Veronica it sounded lonely.

Veronica said goodbye to Maggie at the gate. Who knew that talking to a total stranger could be so therapeutic? As she wandered through the terminal she felt dazed. It had been so long since she'd been here, but it still felt familiar. Although she was tired she was still excited, she couldn't wait to see her dad. Her talk with Maggie on the plane had got her thinking, she was tired of being alone. It was one thing to never settle down, but she hadn't even tried to make friends in New York. She had her work colleagues but that was it.

She collected her luggage and went to find her father. It didn't take her long, as soon as she spotted him, she ran to him and threw herself in his arms. As they wrapped around her she felt the tears welling in her eyes and she began to cry quietly against his shoulder.

"I've missed you daddy."

"Oh Veronica what happened to you?" He asked, running a finger over the bruises on her face.

"I'm okay dad, I'm okay. I... I can't talk about it yet."

"Veronica," he warned.

"No dad. I'll tell you soon, I will. Just not yet ok?" she pleaded.

"Alright well let's get you home shall we? "

"Yes please," Veronica said, handing her suitcase to her father.

As the stepped out of the main doors, Veronica smiled, it was good to be home.


	2. Chapter 2

On Monday after another troubled night, Veronica dragged herself out of bed. She'd worn herself out walking around Neptune with her dad and Alicia, catching up on everything that had change in her absence. Turned out not that much, the city still felt as familiar as ever. Due to their busy day Veronica had fallen asleep a little easier managed to sleep in a little later, meaning she didn't feel quite as exhausted as she had the last few days.

She stared at herself in the bedroom mirror, the bruise on her cheek was fading slowly, but the shadows under her eyes were still prominent. She figured that her nightmare filled nights were not conducive to a well rested Veronica. Veronica looked over at the bed wondering if she should sleep a little longer but couldn't face it, instead she showered and dressed, ready to face the day.

When she walked into the kitchen, twenty minutes later, she was surprised to find her dad sitting at the table, reading the paper. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Hey dad, what are you still doing here?" She asked, grabbing an apple.

"I wanted to talk to you before I left," he said, folding the paper and pushing a chair out.

Worry settled in her stomach, had he somehow found out about the trouble in New York? "Okay?" She said.

She sat down at the kitchen table, watching her dad carefully, wondering where this was going.

"Last night you were crying out in your sleep," he informed her.

Relieved it wasn't something more serious she shrugged. "Oh."

Keith looked startled at her lack of concern. "Oh?" He repeated.

"I've been having nightmares," she admitted.

"You are going to be seeing a therapist?" he asked.

Veronica hesitated for a minute, but she knew she wasn't going to get out of this. Her dad would be persistent on this matter, she was just thankful he didn't know the whole story. "Yes dad, don't worry about me," she said finally.

"But I do worry about you Veronica."

"I know, and to be honest I'm glad you do. But I can handle this. I just need time," she insisted.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?"

Veronica knew she'd never tell him the whole story. "One day," she said.

Keith sighed but rose from the table, he squeezed her shoulder on his way to the door.

"Are you gonna be ok here by yourself?" he asked.

"Yeah dad I'll be fine," she insisted.

"Alicia will be back at lunch to check on you," he told her.

"I don't-"

"We're both worried about you Veronica, you didn't hear your screams but we did," he said.

Veronica could tell he was really worried so she relented. "Ok fine."

"What are you going to do with yourself here?"

"Unpack I guess," she said with a shrug.

She hadn't really thought that through. Work had taken up so much of her life she'd not had free time for ages. She couldn't think of anything to do.

"Ok honey, well I better get going. You can call me if you need anything," he said

"Noted."

"Bye Veronica."

As soon as she heard the front door close, Veronica felt panic set in, without something to distract her she was sure to go insane.

She went into her room and unpacked the bags she'd brought with her, but that only took twenty minutes. Then she started organising her things so that there would be room for the stuff she'd left in New York. When that was done she looked around her neat and tidy room, shaking her head. She began pulling things off the shelves, feeling the compulsive need to clean them more thoroughly.

* * *

An hour later she was so absorbed in her work that she didn't hear Alicia knock on the door.

"Veronica?"

"I'm ok," Veronica answered, before she could ask. She looked up. "How long have you been back?"

"A little while," Alicia said quietly. "Come and get some lunch, I heated up last night's lasagna."

"I'm not really hungry," Veronica replied, she didn't want to stop cleaning now that she'd started. More than that though, she couldn't face more worried looks.

"Veronica." Alicia said, not budging from the door, arms folded across her chest.

Veronica sighed but put down the mirror she'd been cleaning and rose to join Alicia in the kitchen.

Alicia handed her a plate of lasagna. "So I clearly haven't been keeping things clean enough," she said, trying to ease the tension, but Veronica could sense the undercurrent of worry.

"It's not that," she argued.

Alicia waved a hand. "Don't worry about it, but maybe you should get out of the house. It must be nice to be somewhere it isn't snowing, you should take advantage of it," she suggested.

"Yeah but..." Veronica didn't know how to explain, while she did feel trapped in the empty house that morning, she'd also felt safe.

"Do you want to talk about it, what happened? I know you don't want to tell your father, because you don't want to worry him but it might help. I here if you need me to listen," she offered.

"No, but thanks. I'm supposed to start seeing a therapist soon anyway. Mandatory stuff, my director thinks I have post-traumatic stress."

"Do you?"

Veronica thought about it for a moment. She was certainly exhibiting the classic symptoms: she was avoiding all thoughts of her ordeal, refusing to talk about it, distracting herself with mindless tasks, but every night it came back to haunt her.

"I think… yeah possibly," she admitted.

Alicia nodded, unsurprised. "When is the appointment?" She asked.

"Thursday."

"Are you going to go?"

Veronica didn't want to lie, so she stayed silent.

"You should at least try one appointment, before you give up on the idea," Alicia suggested.

"Fine," Veronica conceded.

"Now eat your lunch," Alicia said.

"I'm twenty nine," Veronica reminded her, but she was grateful Alicia had let it go.

Alicia just laughed and proceeded to tell her about her day at work. Just like the phone call with her dad the other night, the talk of Alicia's day to day life held her attention well.

* * *

After lunch Alicia left to go back to work. A few minutes after she'd left Veronica decided to take up her advice. Leaving the mess she'd made of her room she walked out of the house. She didn't have a destination in mind but before she knew it her feet had carried her to her dad's office.

She pushed open the door and smiled as she entered the familiar room.

"Dad?" she called out, hoping he wasn't busy.

"Veronica?" he replied, coming out of his office. "What are you doing here?"

"Just saying hi. I uh… I was going a little crazy in the house," she admitted.

Keith rubbed his chin, watching her with concern.

"Alicia told me to get out of the house," she continued.

"Good that's good. So you came straight here?" he asked.

Veronica stared around the room, it hadn't changed a bit. "I followed my feet," she said with a shrug, walking over to her old desk.

"Fair enough," Keith said, "Well hey maybe I could use your super sharp FBI skills to help me out on a case. For old time's sakes?"

"I'd like that," Veronica agreed, hopping onto the desk.

"Mind you I won't be sending you off into sticky situation's so don't get your hopes up," he warned.

Veronica smiled. "What have you got for me?" She asked holding out her hands.

"I'm currently working two cases: One tracking down an estranged brother and two finding out if a client's husband has gambling issues. How about I give you the brother case?"

"I'm gonna need a little more," Veronica said, already intrigued.

"Okay so the client, a Mrs. Fulton, married last year, formerly a Miss Paige Byrne moved here from Indiana with her husband. Last month her mother passed away and she went back to sort out her things. Now here's the interesting bit, when she was going through the stuff she found letters from her brother Michael dated up to 2011."

"Fascinating," Veronica said.

"Well seeing as Michael died when Paige was eight, twenty years ago, it is pretty interesting. The letters between Michael and his mom allude to him running away from home age sixteen. There appears to have been some trouble between Micheal and his father," Keith informed her.

Okay that was interesting. "So they told her he was dead? Pretty cold," Veronica said, frowning.

"Yeah. So she wants to track him down, get to know him again, find out exactly what happened."

"So she thinks he's in Neptune? That's a bit of a coincidence surely?" Veronica asked, tapping her chin as she began to run through possibilities in her head.

"No, the first few letters had a San Francisco postmark, but since 2008 he appeared to have relocated to LA," Keith said.

"Maybe he ran away to be a movie star," Veronica suggested.

"Maybe," Keith said in a tone which clearly said he disagreed. "She thinks he probably changed his name, and all we have to go on are the letters and pictures of him when he was sixteen."

"I may be able to work with that," Veronica informed him.

"Really?" Keith asked, confused.

"I might know someone who's good with facial imaging software, owes me a favour," she explained.

"And here I thought you didn't have any friends at work," Keith said with a smile.

He walked into his office.

"I don't," Veronica argued, sitting down at the desk properly.

"Ok then here's the file," he said, coming back out and handing it to her. "The pictures and letters are in there."

She grabbed it and began rifling through the various items.

"Damn my laptop's at home," she muttered, "I'll have to bring it with me tomorrow."

Keith opened up a cupboard and pulled out a slightly battered looking laptop, he placed it on the desk in front of her. "Here you go, you can use this for now," he said.

"Thanks," Veronica said, not looking up from the file.

"So I'll just be in the office if you need me," he said.

"Mm," Veronica responded, ignoring him in favour of the file in front of her.

Keith laughed to himself as he went back through to his office.

Veronica started by reading the letters, from a cursory glance she got the impression that Michael Byrne had left home because of some sort of final altercation with his father, after years of disagreements. Neither his nor his mother's letters mentioned anything in detail, but often his mother would ask him to come home. Michael would always refuse as long as his father was there, but said his mother could come and visit him in California.

Once she'd had a good look at the letters she booted up the laptop her dad had left out for her. She frowned at it's slow speed, but she couldn't expect it to be as fast as her own, top of the range notebook. When it finally loaded up, she tracked down the addresses Michael's mother had used but they were just PO boxes.

A quick search of the San Francisco and LA directories revealed a combined total of five hundred hits for a Micheal Byrne, and Veronica wasn't even sure if that was his real name. This was going to take some federal magic if she wanted this done quickly.

Veronica opened up the FBI server and logged onto her account. She was greeted with a pop-up informing her that because she was on leave she would have limited access to resources. She frowned, she'd expected a little restriction but she'd worked on cases in her apartment before, usually instead of sleeping. If her privileges were suspended anyway this would be trickier than she first thought.

She was going to have to call Schneider. Shaking her head she braced herself and picked up the phone.

"Schneider," he answered curtly.

"I thought I was on leave, not suspended," Veronica said not bothering with pleasantries. She tapped her fingers on the desk as she spoke.

"I... Mars is that you? You _are_ on leave," he said, sounding confused and surprised at her tone.

"Then why have my account privileges been suspended?" She demanded.

"Why are you trying to access them?" He countered.

"I'm doing a bit of work for my dad," she admitted.

"PI work? You've only been gone three days. You are supposed to be recovering," he reminded her.

"I am. Do I really seem like the kind of person who can just lay in bed all day resting?" she asked with an amused smile.

"No I suppose you don't," he agreed.

"I was going crazy, I need to keep my mind busy," Veronica insisted.

"What sort of resources were you planning on using exactly?" He asked.

Veronica sat up straight, grinning. She could tell she'd already worn him down. "Just a name check for now," she said.

"For now?"

"I might need to talk to Eddie about some facial aging," she informed him.

"This case-"

"Just a woman looking for her brother, harmless stuff," she explained.

"Hm I'll give you a little more access, I hope it helps. Use it wisely don't go overboard, you are on leave remember. I'm only doing this because I think it will help you to keep busy. I'm still hoping you'll come back in six months and I don't want you rusty. It's not standard protocol to use federal resources for PI cases," he reminded her.

"Okay," she said gratefully.

"The facial stuff is up to Eddie and he'll do it on his own time and only because he practically wrote the software," Schneider said.

"Thanks boss," Veronica said.

"If you don't come back you do realise you lose access to these resources, then where will you be?"

"Maybe I should wean myself off them now, get used to tracking people down the old fashioned way," she answered.

"Well this way you should impress your dad," he said, Veronica could hear him tapping away at his computer. "Right that's done, you should be able to look the guy up, I'm not giving you back full access it's inappropriate."

"Fine. And thanks," Veronica said, signing on again, no pop-up this time.

"Take care of yourself Mars," Schneider said.

Veronica hung up and ran a check on Michael Byrne. Thirty eight Micheal Byrne's had changed their name since 1997, but only six in the state of California. Now six wasn't too bad a number to be working with. First on the list was Oscar Brennan, who changed his name in January of 1998, just three months after Michael Byrne ran away from home. He was currently living in LA, but none of his previous addresses were listed as San Fransisco. Veronica put him aside for now and moved on to candidate number two Tyler McKay. This guy didn't change his name until 99 but his addresses matched the letters. She had a current phone number for the guy, but knew he was unlikely to give out an information over the phone.

Veronica decided to try a different tack. She picked up her phone again.

"Pruit here."

"Hey Eddie," Veronica began.

"Mars what a surprise," Eddie said.

"Really?"

"Nah, Schneider warned me you might be calling. Said you had some photos for me to age," he told her.

"Will you do it?"

"For you anything," he said.

Veronica laughed, Edward Pruit worked on facial recognition at the bureau and it was thanks to Veronica that he'd got the funding to implement his own software onto the system. She'd all but demanded it for a case after he'd given her a quick demonstration, it was expensive but had quickly paid for itself in results.

"How long?" She asked, getting straight to business.

"Well I _a__m_ supposed to be doing it on my own time, and I don't get off till eight," he said.

"Could you get it done by tomorrow morning?" She asked.

With only six men to choose from and the aged photos it wouldn't be too hard to track down the guy using social media and driver's licenses. There was no need to rush.

"I suppose," he said dramatically. "Email them over to me, shouldn't take me too long."

"Thanks Eddie," she said, gratefully, "hold on a sec," she said, dropping the phone to her shoulder.

"Dad do we have a scanner?" she shouted.

"Yeah, it's in here," he called back.

Veronica got up and walked into her dad's office, he pointed out the scanner. She plugged it out and picked it up, taking it back into the main office.

"You're welcome!" Keith called out.

Veronica just laughed, and lifted the phone to her ear again. "I'm back, and I'm scanning in the photos now. You'll have them in ten minutes."

"I'll get to work right away, I can leave it running in the background," he assured her.

"Great."

"So how you doing Mars?"

Veronica frowned. "Keeping busy," she informed him.

"Thats good, don't be a stranger, even if you only want more facial programming done," Eddie said.

"You'll be the first person I call. Thanks for this Eddie."

"No worries."

Once she'd sent the pictures over to Eddie, Veronica started making dossiers for her six potential Michael Byrne's, she knew would have to transfer them to her own laptop as soon as possible, but she decided to get started anyway.

* * *

She'd been working on a Frank Holden's file for a few minutes when a couple walked into the office. Veronica assessed them carefully: the woman looked tearful and nervous, the man just looked weary. They were dressed smartly, Veronica pegged them as wealthy, from his suit she guessed the man was probably in investments or property but it was harder to tell in Neptune. The woman was likely a housewife though, perfectly manicured nails, tanned, wearing a glamorous dress.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

"Yes," the woman answered, "We're here to see Keith Mars."

"You've come to the right place," Veronica said, nodding to her dad who'd come out into the main office.

"Mr and Mrs Hensley?" Keith asked.

They both nodded.

"Please come through," Keith said, stepping aside.

The couple walked into his office, Keith followed them, pausing at the door.

"Making good progress?" He asked Veronica.

"Yep, I have a shortlist of six potential Michael Byrnes," she informed him proudly.

Keith's eyes widened. "Six? You've only been out here an hour."

"I bet you missed me," she said, laughing. "Go on you've got clients waiting," she said, shooing him away.

When he was gone Veronica pushed the laptop away. She hadn't realised she'd been at it for over an hour, she decided to take a break. She picked up the phone and dialled Mac's number.

"Hello?" Mac answered.

"Hey Mac!" Veronica said enthusiastically.

"Veronica Mars! I hear you're in Neptune," Mac replied.

"Wallace?" Veronica guessed, damn he'd spoilt her surprise.

"Yep."

"Yeah I'm back. So I was thinking… maybe you wanna catch up soon," she suggested. "I actually meant to text you yesterday." Veronica spun in the chair, excited at the prospect of seeing Mac.

"That sounds great, how about we do lunch tomorrow?"

"Well I have always wanted to be a lady who lunches," Veronica joked.

"It fits you so well," Mac agreed. "So are you gonna fill me in on what happened? Wallace wouldn't tell me anything, just that you were coming home. Possibly for good."

"I don't think I'm going back east anytime soon," Veronica said. "I'll tell you what I can," she offered.

"Okay," Mac said, not pushing for more information. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then, I'd chat for longer but I'm at work."

"Got it, I'll see you tomorrow, is two good for you? Where's good to eat these days?" She asked.

"Two's good for me, how about The Aardvark?"

Veronica raised an eyebrow. "The Aardvark?" She asked.

"It's newish bit hipster but supposedly good. I've been meaning to check it out, veggie friendly," Mac explained.

"Uh.. sounds great," Veronica said slowly.

"Don't worry they cater to carnivores to," Mac assured her.

"Great!" Veronica said relieved. "I'll see you tomorrow Mac."

As she hung up the phone, her dad's door opened and the couple walked out. They did not look happy. Veronica waited for them to leave and went into her dad's office.

"Everything okay?"

"Hm." Keith frowned as he looked up from his paperwork. "Their daughter is missing," he informed her.

"Ok. Shouldn't the sheriff's department be dealing with that?" Veronica asked, sitting at the desk.

"It seems Hazel has run away, two of her friends are gone too. They left notes behind," Keith explained.

"How old are they?"

"All seventeen. Sheriff Lindsay is investigating too, but so far nothing. He thinks they're just runaways, and that they'll come back when they run out of money. But that's of little comfort to the Hensleys."

"How long has it been?"

"Two days," Keith said.

"Bit soon to be panicking for runaways, they're probably in LA at a hotel or something. They'll come running back once they realise how hard the real world is," Veronica suggested.

"That's the spirit," Keith said, shaking his head. "Hopefully I can track them down before they get into trouble."

"I called Mac, we're meeting up for lunch tomorrow," Veronica informed him.

"Oh good, I'm glad. See you're all settled in already," he said.

"Yeah, it wasn't too hard was it?"

* * *

The next day Veronica found herself running late to lunch. That morning she'd gone in to give her dad the pictures Eddie had sent her. She'd managed to match up the picture with a Lucas Walton. Lucas, formerly Michael Byrne, had been living in LA since 2011, before that San Francisco, which matched the profile.

The pictures looked strikingly similar to Lucas Walton's driver's license photo. With a match Veronica had decided the best was to let Paige contact him directly, so she'd made an appointment with the woman for the next day. They would be going over the best approach for contacting Lucas, Veronica thought a letter would be best in this case.

She'd been ready to leave for lunch when Sheriff Lindsay walked in to find out what her dad was up to, he hadn't seemed pleased. Veronica couldn't help but offer her opinion on the case of the runaway teens, but was pleasantly surprised when he agreed with her.

Neil Lindsay was quite new to Neptune, he'd transferred from San Diego, according to her dad it was just a stop off before retirement stuff. He seemed serious and quiet, if Veronica were to profile him she would say he was a bit of a loner. While her dad seemed to think he was taking this case too lightly Veronica could tell that wasn't the case. He was working hard looking for these girls, but at the same time he thought they were fine... for now.

By the time she got to the restaurant it was a quarter past two. She rushed over to the table where Mac was waiting.

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck at the office," she said breathlessly.

Mac raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry about it. Back to sleuthing already?" She asked.

"Just offering my opinion on the high school girls," Veronica explained.

"Is that wise?" Mac asked, surprised.

"It's completely different," Veronica said, frowning as she opened the menu.

"Is it?"

"Well these girls ran away, no serial killers. I should be fine. Also I was just suggesting how Lindsay can get them home quicker."

"So we going to talk about New York?" Mac asked.

Before Veronica could answer the waiter arrived to take their orders. Veronica hoped this would be enough of a distraction to change the topic, but Mac was not deterred, as soon as he'd left them alone she continued prodding.

"So New York?" She prompted.

"No let's talk about you," Veronica said instead.

"Me?"

"Or anything else not New York," Veronica said quietly.

Mac must have sensed something in her tone because she nodded her assent. "Done. Let's talk about me. Now you know I'm not one for talking about myself usually, but I have just recently finished a rather big project. I've basically just overhauled the security system for Kane Software. Have you heard of the hacker Reaper at the bureau?" She asked.

"Nope," Veronica replied curiously.

"Yeah he mostly attacks private companies. It's Reaper spelt with capital r's and a p. I don't know if that's supposed to make him look cool, but it certainly doesn't make him any less of a pain in the ass. He hacks systems to prove he can, then informs the company for a fee," Mac explained, grimacing.

"I bet you were pleased with him," Veronica said. "I wouldn't have thought there were any holes in Kane security," she added.

"I was furious," Mac said, her distaste at Reaper clear on her face. "All system's have weaknesses though, if you know where to look. We have a fantastic firewall, but he managed to connect using a Trojan placed on an employees machine. Reaper managed to get hold of the source code for a future product, I'm sure you can imagine the trouble that caused."

Veronica nodded, imagining Jake Kane and his minions worrying about losing a fraction of their precious millions. "So what happened?"

"He offered to return the documents, for a job. Can you believe that?"

She could believe it, she'd heard of it happening before. "Smart guy, did you accept?"

"No I was dead against it, I pushed for them to press charges," Mac said shaking her head.

"I take it they didn't?" Veronica asked.

"Nope. Apparently Jake Kane was impressed by 'such an intuitive job application'. They called him in for an interview, the idiots," Mac said.

"What happened?"

"The kid was fourteen, came in with his mom!" Mac said, laughing.

"Ha! Brilliant."

"This kid is a genius, completely self taught but still an annoying ass. If he keeps it up he'll probably be wanted by your lot as soon as he's old enough," Mac said.

"Private firms pay more though," Veronica said.

"That they do," Mac agreed.

"Can't believe your system was hacked by a kid," Veronica said. "But at least you don't have to work with him."

"It wasn't _my _system. It was the old framework designed by Timothy Campbell who's been there for years. They refused time after time to write new software, instead just updating when necessary. I told them, just because it hadn't been hacked yet didn't mean it was impenetrable. I mean we're still using passworded authentication for the lower employees."

"Outrageous," Veronica said, absolutely no idea what she was agreeing to. "Wait surely passwords are good?"

Mac raised an eyebrow. "How do you access your FBI stuff?"

"Fair point," Veronica agreed, thinking of the various codes and servers she had to get through just to run a few simple checks.

"Exactly," Mac said, "I told Mueller, that's my boss, I could have done what Reaper did in about five minutes. Honestly if I'd known it would get their attention I would have done it years ago."

"Wow."

"Yep, so I was given free reign to fix all the security holes in the system. For such a big company there were a worrying amount. Nothing major, but if any other hardcore hackers had wanted info it wouldn't have been as hard as it should have been for them to get it."

"All secure now though?"

"Completely, and I got a pretty nice bonus, and I've moved up a few rungs on the corporate ladder."

"Wow Mac. Did you know you could probably make even more money if you went over to the dark side?" Veronica asked, proud that her friend was doing so well.

"The thought has occurred to me yes," Mac agreed.

The waiter arrived with their food while they were both laughing. They were quiet for a while, as they ate.

Finally Mac broke the silence. "So does Logan know you're back?" She asked, the look on her face showed she had been desperate to ask.

"No."

"Want me to tell him?"

Veronica thought about it, it would make it easier, but it didn't seem right. "No I'll talk to him," she said. "But I don't want to go to him a mess, he doesn't need that. I think maybe I need to get settled and sorted before I do anything."

Mac watched her thoughtfully for a moment.

"What?" Veronica asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Well firstly, you're talking about Logan without pulling that face, that's growth," Mac said.

Veronica laughed and gave her a playful smack on the arm. "Secondly?" She demanded.

"Well up until now you never let me talk about him, but I'll seize this oh so rare opportunity and tell you that things are different with him now," she warned.

"Wallace said the same thing, that he was happy." Veronica said, biting her lip.

"He's grown up a lot," Mac said.

"You sound proud of him," Veronica said.

"Hm... I guess I am in a way," Mac said.

"So he's clearly been doing just fine without me," Veronica said sadly, before she could help herself.

Mac rolled her eyes. "Oh don't worry, when he first found out you'd left, he went about dealing with it in typical Logan fashion. Drinking, partying wild times. When he realised you weren't coming back anytime soon though, he pulled himself together, got his life on track... all ready for the day you came back. I think he thought you would have come back before now," she told her.

"But why didn't he-"

"What come to you?"

"I wasn't hiding. Surely if he really wanted me back he could have come after me," Veronica said. She knew it wasn't fair but she couldn't help thinking such thoughts.

"He was going to," Mac informed her. "He had a whole plan."

Veronica felt a stab of relief followed by disappointment that he never came. "Really?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, believe me I heard it enough, I still know it by heart." She held up a finger. "Step one graduate college to prove I'm not a complete screw up." Another finger. "Step two get a job to prove that I can contribute to society. Step three track down Veronica and sweep her off her feet, or something to that effect. He was always hazy on the details of step three."

Veronica smiled sadly, so many times she'd wished Logan had turned up at her door. "So what happened?" She asked.

"Life got in the way," Mac said quietly.

"There's something you're not telling me," Veronica said, narrowing her eyes.

"I'm... I'm not supposed to tell you... I don't even know half of what happened but... A few years after we graduated things went to shit again. Just when things were all settled. I really thought that was it this time, the final straw you know." Mac said.

Veronica felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach and she crossed her arms, almost hugging herself. "What happened?"

Mac was hesitant to reveal more, but seeing the expression on Veronica's face caused her to relent.

"Look I swore I wouldn't tell you, I still don't know the whole story, and you weren't there it'll just be confusing. Honestly I think its best you just find it out for yourself, if you ask he'll tell you... probably."

Veronica didn't respond, but she doubted Logan would tell her anything. She waited for Mac to continue but she didn't.

"What happened?" Veronica asked again.

"Honestly? I don't know. One weekend Logan went to LA, came back... different. I don't think I'd ever seen Logan so angry," she paused.

Veronica had seen Logan angry many times, she could imagine exactly what he was like on his return.

"He was so… so horrified and sad too," Mac finished.

LA? A few possibilities entered Veronica's mind. Logan hated LA, he'd told her once that the city held too many bad childhood memories. He probably wouldn't go there unless he had to. That meant one thing, Trina. As Veronica thought about it, she realised hadn't heard anything about Trina in a long time. She hadn't really been looking, purposely avoiding was closer to the truth, but she couldn't even remember when the wannabe star was last in the tabloids. That couldn't be good.

"Trina then?" She whispered.

"Yeah," Mac said quietly.

If Trina had been hurt then that would be a reason for Logan to be angry. As much as he always dismissed his sister Veronica knew that if something ever happened to her, Logan would be upset. "Mac what happened?"

"I really don't know, even if I did I wouldn't tell you, it's not my story," Mac said.

Veronica frowned, she wanted to push the matter but she realised Mac wasn't going to relent on this.

"But I've asked just the once," Mac said, shaking her head. "His face just went blank, completely controlled, but his eyes... the were burning, I was almost afraid."

Veronica knew that face well.

"So I let it drop. I'm not like you Veronica, I don't need to know everything, especially when it hurts to talk about it... but..."

"But?" What more could there be?

"But he didn't let it drag him back down, he had a lot of difficult decisions to make but he stepped up. At the time I was surprised, but now it just makes sense I couldn't imagine it any other way," Mac said.

"What the hell aren't you telling me?" Veronica demanded, feeling relieved that everything obviously worked out ok.

Mac smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Oh just you wait." She chuckled. "He asked me not to tell you, I offered to call you, to try and get you to come back. I wanted you to see. This was four years ago, but he never revoked the request. See I think he didn't want you to know, stupid fool wanted you to come back because you missed him too much, not because of what happened to him."

"So he's ok now?" Veronica asked.

Mac didn't say anything.

"Mac?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen him in a while. I figured he's just been busy but... it's been about four months, I'm not worried yet, I'm sure he's fine. He gets like that sometimes, reclusive you know," she said.

"Yeah," Veronica said in a small voice.

Mac stared, obviously expecting more of a response. "That's it?" She asked surprised.

"Of course that's it, I have no right to demand information on Logan. I've spent the past ten years refusing to talk about him, refusing to let you fill me in, refusing to check up on him. God it's killing me that you won't tell me what's important in his life now.

"It's killing me that something bad, potentially awful has happened and that I wasn't there for him. It's chewing me up knowing that you two clearly are keeping secrets from me but it isn't fair of me to ask. Especially as you tried to keep me up to date all this time and I wouldn't listen. I need to fix this myself." Veronica said.

"God and I thought Logan had matured," Mac muttered.

"We're all grown up now Q," Veronica replied with a weak smile.

"That we are Bond."

* * *

As they were leaving the restaurant, Veronica got a call from her dad, she paused next to Mac and answered the phone.

"Honey, do you think you could go talk to the Boltons? That's Lara, one of the runaway's parents. They've already spoken to the sheriff's department but you might be able to get more info," he said.

"Of course, um... where do they live?" Veronica asked.

"Er..." Veronica heard her dad moving some papers. "936 Laurel Street," he read out to her.

"Ok, are they expecting me?" She asked.

"Yeah I've called ahead," Keith said. "I wouldn't send you into a hostile environment Veronica," he added.

"OK, I'm on my way, I'll see what I can get out of them," she said.

"Don't go all FBI on them Veronica," her dad warned lightly.

"Ok I'll hold back on the water-boarding," Veronica joked.

"Thanks honey, see you later."

"Bye Dad," Veronica said, hanging up.

"You gonna be ok?" Mac asked, sensing Veronica's reluctance.

Working from the office was one thing, going into someone's house was another. Veronica wasn't worried about a hostile environment, she was worried about dealing with upset parents, she'd had enough of that to last a lifetime.

"Yeah," Veronica said, biting her lip. "Do you have to go back to work?" She asked.

"I don't _have_ to," Mac said.

"Would you come with? For old time sake," Veronica asked.

Mac just grinned and allowed Veronica to lead the way to her car.

As Veronica reached the 09er district she wondered if Logan was living around here.

"Does Logan..."

"No he still lives at the Grand," Mac said, grinning.

"Really?"

"Of course not, he lives out that way," she said, pointing toward the coast. "Want to drop by after this interrogation?"

"Absolutely not. And it isn't an interrogation," she said.

"Probably for the best, there's still a bit of a bruise on your face, don't want Logan Hulking out on us," Mac joked.

"He wouldn't do that," Veronica insisted.

Mac laughed.

"Would he?"

"Would he go into his I must avenge Veronica mode? Yeah totally." Mac said.

Veronica shook her head as she pulled up to a large house. She smiled, investigating Neptune's elite, man it was good to be home.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Veronica and Mac were in Lara Bolton's bedroom, having convinced her mother it may contain vital clues that the sheriff's department had missed. The chat with the parents had revealed nothing new, only that they seemed genuinely concerned for their daughter's well being. They didn't know of any trouble Lara could've gotten into, but that didn't really prove anything. After all parents had no idea what their kids got up to these days.

"You really think there'll be something in here?" Mac asked.

"I dunno, maybe," Veronica replied from where she was searching under the bed.

"I have no idea what I'm looking for here," Mac said, but Veronica heard her rustling through things anyway.

"Nothing under there," Veronica said, standing up and walking to the closet, she pulled back the clothes and tapped against the back panel. Nothing.

"Ha! Listen to this: '_the night falls with a silent sigh, entwined are we.__  
__the light for which you pine__flares once, then dies.__'_ Looks like Lara fancies herself a bit of a poet. God how emo, I was never like that was I?" Mac asked.

Veronica laughed. "No thank god, I definitely wouldn't have stayed friends with you if you were," she said, going into the bathroom.

"_'Y__our love is no more.__H__ow could you not understand? __S__pirits surround us, crying,__  
__we have lost our light.__'_ Listen to this stuff, could this be a clue? She ran away because she was so whiny?" Mac called out.

"Mac, her parents are downstairs, play nice." Veronica warned, now searching through Lara's bathroom cupboard.

"Hey Veronica?"

"Yeah."

"If Lara ran away, wouldn't she take her journal with her?"

"Her journal?" Veronica asked, walking out of the bathroom.

"Yeah," Mac said, handing over the book she'd been reading from.

"Where did you find this?" Veronica asked, flicking through the pages of poetry and journal entries.

"It was in the window box," Mac said, showing her the open chest filled with photos and books.

It certainly seemed odd, if she went to the trouble of hiding it from her parents. "Huh."

"A Clue?" Mac asked.

"Maybe, I'll read it and see," Veronica said, putting the book in her bag.

"Reading a poor girl's private thoughts, outrageous."

"That's me!" Veronica agreed. "Well I think that's all we're gonna find in here, and I didn't even find it," she said.

"Ah don't be so hard on yourself Bond," Mac said as they left Lara's room.

* * *

They walked back to her car, Veronica was eager to read Lara's journal. She had a worrying feeling Mac might be right, why would she leave behind the document of her thoughts if she'd run away?

Mac must have read her mind. "Still thinking she ran away?" She asked.

Veronica sighed heavily as she threw her bag onto the back seat and turned to get in the car. "Maybe not, we'll see," she said.

She reached out to open the door when a familiar voice got her attention.

"Veronica?"

She turned around slowly, hoping it wasn't who she though it was. No such luck apparently.

"Duncan? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I live here," he said, smiling at her.

Of course he did. Veronica took a deep breath and walked toward him slowly.

"Are you back for long?" he asked.

"Maybe," Veronica admitted.

Duncan grinned, clearly excited. "There's someone I'd like you to meet," he said.

"Lilly?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, she's inside doing homework. Why don't you come in and say hello?" He suggested.

Veronica fidgeted, feeling uncomfortable. "I really can't," she said.

"Ok just give me a minute and I'll go get her," Duncan said, rushing into the house.

"You could've mention that Duncan lived here," she snapped when Mac finally approached.

"I didn't know he lived here," Mac apologized. "You don't seem pleased to see him."

"You work for him," Veronica reminded her. "I'm not... I dunno, I just didn't want to deal with him yet."

"So you've seen him since he came back?" Mac asked.

"Yeah."

_Two years ago Veronica had opened her door to find Duncan standing there, a huge grin on his face. After getting over her initial shock at seeing him standing there in her hallway, she pulled him into the apartment._

"_Duncan what... Lilly is she-"_

"_She's safe, don't worry," he assured her, looking around her apartment._

"_Don't worry!" Veronica hissed. "What happened? What are you doing here?"_

"_It's a long story," Duncan said._

"_I've got time, spill," Veronica demanded, hands on her hips._

_Duncan smiled and sat down on the sofa._

"_How've you been Veronica?" He asked instead._

_Veronica sighed frustrated. "Fine... I'm fine. So? The Mannings?" _

"_Straight to business then? Ok so did you know my parents were secretly fighting with Meg's to allow me to come back?_

"_I didn't," she said, sinking down into her chair._

"_Well they had been for a while, but they never really got anywhere. They'd gathered as much evidence as they could but it wasn't enough. Then about a year ago, Grace Manning went to my parents," he said._

"_Wow."_

"_I know. The Mannings seemed to have realised the mistakes they made with Meg and Lizzie and decided not to take any risks with Grace. She was home-schooled, shut off from the world outside of church, but the girl knew how to pay attention. She heard her parents badmouthing mine a few times and figured if anyone could help her it was them," Duncan explained. _

"_Smart kid," Veronica said._

"_See, she didn't realise how bad it was until she heard her dad talking about marrying her into a good Christian family. She knew then she wasn't just going to get to leave like Lizzie did, she would never be free."_

"_Good god," Veronica whispered, horrified by the thought that his poor girl never had any control over her life._

"_Yep so she ran away, poor girl hardly ever went outside but she managed to break into the estate. My dad found her in his study the next morning and agreed to help her get free. She testified against her parents, it didn't take much Lizzie came forward too, and they've gone to prison. Child abuse," he clarified._

_Veronica frowned, if Jake and Celeste had been collecting evidence, surely they must have known what was going on with Grace Manning. They should have helped her, but clearly it wasn't worth the risk unless they knew she was on their side. She let it go, of course they wouldn't take a risk to save some child they hardly knew._

"_So you're back," she said._

"_Yep." Duncan was fidgeting now._

_That couldn't be good. "Are you working for your dad?" She asked._

"_Yeah, he's training me up," he said._

"_Good I'm glad well-"_

"_So why did you leave Neptune?"_

"_School, work... and it just felt like the right thing, I needed a fresh start. I wanted to live somewhere where I didn't have so much history," she explained._

"_You don't want to come back?" Duncan asked, hopefully._

_Veronica laughed. "God no," she said before she could stop herself._

"_But I'm back now," Duncan said, seeming genuinely confused._

_And there it was. "Yeah... but I have a life here now Duncan, a job. I mean come on, it's been ten years. You can't really expect us to just pick up where we left off?" She asked._

"_Why not?"_

"_Oh come on, what we had was nice, it was familiar, but you never really wanted me you wanted sweet naive Veronica, and for a while I just wanted my old life back. God knows why, normal is so overrated," she said with a laugh._

_She stopped when Duncan didn't join in._

"_Duncan, if what we'd had was worth it I would have fought for you to stay, or run away with you. You would have stayed and fought for Lilly here. Instead we just gave up, it shouldn't have been so easy to let it go."_

_Duncan didn't say anything, but he wouldn't meet her eyes._

"_Duncan?" _

"_Yeah of course, of course," he said finally. "So New York huh?" He asked, changing the topic, but Veronica could tell he was still upset._

_He'd left shortly after that, clearly uncomfortable. They'd promised to keep in touch now that it was safe to do so. Veronica had sent a few emails, but nothing more. She would have loved to be friends with Duncan again, but it was clear he wanted more, so she kept her distance, hoping he would move on._

"Lilly this is Veronica," Duncan said, bringing her back to the present.

"Hi," Lilly breathed, eyes wide as she recognised Veronica. "I've seen your picture," she said.

"Really?" Veronica asked, she observed the little girl. "She looks like Lilly," she whispered.

"I am Lilly," she said laughing.

She does doesn't' she?" Duncan agreed, ruffling her hair. "And Meg too," he added sadly.

Veronica shifted uncomfortably at the way Duncan was looking at her, clearly two years was not long enough for the message to sink in. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Well I have to get back to my dad, cases to crack," she said.

"Really? You can't stay?" Duncan asked.

"Afraid not," Veronica said, taking a couple of steps back.

"Well we should catch up soon, maybe dinner?" Duncan suggested disappointedly.

"Maybe," Veronica knelt down in front of Lilly. "It was nice to meet you Lilly."

Lilly grinned. "You too Aunty Veronica," she said, before running off back to the house.

Veronica stood up and nodded to Mac. "We have to go," she said to Duncan, "but I'll... I'll give you a call."

Veronica made to leave before Duncan could respond, Mac hurried to keep up with her.

"Running away from your ex, there's the Veronica I know and love," she said as they reached the car.

"Oh god, don't even start," Veronica said, getting into the car.

"So he's _clearly_ still hung up on you," Mac said, as they headed back to town.

Veronica sighed, she'd hoping she'd been imagining it but Mac could see it too. "I know," she said. "But it's been twelve years. Surely he should've moved on by now?"

"It's been ten years since you saw Logan," Mac reminded her.

Veronica frowned, not seeing her point. "But that's _Logan," _she said.

Mac shook her head but she smiled. "And here I was hoping for some awkward love triangle drama to spice up my life," she said.

"Don't be ridiculous Mac there is no triangle. Logan and Duncan are completely separate. I loved Duncan once, and yeah I tried to get that back but it just wasn't there anymore. The second time we dated it was nice and it was safe but I needed more. God look at me rambling on, I can't believe myself. It must be the post traumatic stress disorder talking," she said.

"Right well if you don't talk to Logan by the end of the week, _I'll_ tell him you're back and send him round," Mac warned.

* * *

Later that night Veronica was at the supermarket, she was picking up ice cream, a treat after a long day of working hard. She walked toward the checkout, rummaging through her purse. When she looked up again, there standing not ten feet in front of her was Logan. He was looking away from her but she could tell it was him, she would always recognise him. Veronica froze in her tracks and stared at him.

From the back of his head she couldn't see much, but then he turned to face the checkout girl for a second and Veronica saw his face. She gasped and a heavy ache settled in her heart, he looked... terrible. He looked as tired as she felt, she caught a glimpse of the dark shadows under his eyes and his face was unshaven, he was obviously exhausted.

As someone who was once fluent in Logan's body language, she could tell he was stressed. He was tapping his foot against the floor and rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes constantly flicking to the door as he waited, clearly desperate to get out of there. Even at this distance she could tell his body was thrumming with its usual tension, pushed up a few notches by whatever was causing him distress.

When the cashier had finished scanning Logan's items she had to call for his attention, waving a hand in his face. Logan rubbed a hand over his face and blinked at her surprised, before he handed over some cash. He grabbed his shopping and walked toward the door, his movements slow and weary. Veronica opened her mouth to say something, anything to him but no sound came out. She wanted to call out, grab him, demand to know what was wrong, but before her mouth caught up to her mind he was gone.

"Logan," she whispered finally, too late.

She paid for her stuff in a hurry and rushed out to the parking lot, but when she got there, there was no sign of Logan. She didn't even know what kind of car he drove these days anyway. It was no use, she sighed heavily and made her way to her car.

In the car it took her ten minutes to get moving, her mind too focused on Logan to concentrate on anything else, she sat there running through what Mac had told her earlier. Logan had gone through some sort of setback a few years ago, but Mac made it sound like he'd handled it and moved on. But then she'd mentioned that Logan had been distant, Mac wasn't worried but obviously something else was going on. But what? And the way Logan looked, granted she'd only seen his face for all of a minute, but she could still read Logan after all this time. He was struggling with something, and what ever it was was devastating him. She wondered if he was in some sort of trouble, if he needed her help.

She laughed to herself, she'd only been back a few days and she was already considering going down the rabbit hole, wanting to help Logan out of whatever trouble he was in. Would he want her to? He didn't know she was back yet, but would he be happy to see her? Or was right now the worst time she could've come back? Mac made it sound like he hadn't given up on her returning, but maybe she was finally too late.

More than anything though, Veronica thought Logan looked like he could use a friend, and she desperately wanted to be there for him.

She snapped out of her thoughts and drove home, deciding on a plan of action. First things first she would call Mac and tell her what she'd seen. Second... well she would decide that after speaking with Mac.

* * *

When she got home her dad and Alicia invited her to watch a movie with them, but she blew them off, going into her room to call Mac. She was in such a hurry she missed the worried glances they exchanged.

"Hey Veronica," Mac answered.

"Hey Mac..." Veronica began.

"Everything ok? You in trouble already?" Mac asked.

"No. I was at the supermarket earlier and... I saw Logan," Veronica said.

"Oh god, what happened? I thought you _wanted_ to see him, you didn't cause a scene did you?" Mac demanded.

Veronica laughed weakly. "No I didn't talk to him, he didn't see me," she explained.

"Were you hiding?" Mac asked.

"No I was not hiding... but I froze, by the time I was ready to talk to him he was gone," she said.

"Why did you freeze?"

"I don't know I panicked," Veronica said.

"How very unlike you," Mac observed.

"No I wanted to talk to him really I did, but Mac you should have seen him. He was a mess," Veronica said.

This got Mac's full attention. "What do you mean?" She asked, she sounded worried.

"He looked beyond tired, kinda like how I felt the other day. Like he hadn't slept properly in a long time," Veronica explained.

"Huh, I'll call him tomorrow, check in," Mac said. "Are you gonna make contact?"

"Maybe, I wanted to talk to him there at the store but I choked," Veronica said.

"Give him a call, I put his number in your phone, the one you had was old," Mac said.

"Thanks Mac," Veronica said, not even pretending to be mad that Mac had hijacked her cell.

"No worries Veronica, I'll talk to you later ok?"

"Bye Mac."

After she'd hung up she scrolled through to find Logan's number, she deliberated over making the call for twenty minutes, before placing her phone on the nightstand and going out to the living room, to join her dad and Alicia for the movie. She managed to sit through half an hour of the movie, before she got up without a word and went back to her room.

Taking a deep breath she made the call, it rang a few times before it went through to voicemail:

"_Hi you've reached Logan, I'm probably surfing or sleeping..."_

Veronica smiled, it was good to hear his voice, even if it was a recorded message.

"_If this is Jimmy, I've told you to stop hassling me it affects my creative process. Anyone else leave a message and I'll get back to you."_

Veronica hung up at the beep, but it was progress. She decided to try again tomorrow, she didn't what him to find out she was back via voicemail. She would find out what was going on with him, and if she could help, she would do everything she could to make it right.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Veronica found herself sitting at her desk in the office, perusing Lara Bolton's journal. Veronica was sure that the journal contained some clues; that it was going to give them a lead and help her solve the case.

She was meeting with Paige Fulton at nine to discuss contacting her brother, but the case seemed pretty open and shut to Veronica and now she was more interested in the three missing teens. All she had to do now for Paige was help her make contact with Mike and hopefully start the ball rolling on a happy family reunion.

Veronica raised an eyebrow, the journal was mostly more of the same poetry Mac had read out; this Lara certainly seemed to be a cheerful gal. She flicked through the book until she found a proper journal entry dated September 18:

_My parents are such total control freaks. __Behind These Tears__ are playing at the Bomb Squad and they won't let me go, it's totally unfair. It's not like LA is that far away, me and Tabby could get there and back in one night. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, they don't understand how much Tear's music means to me. My dad thinks it's all just noise and I know mom just wishes I was pink and sparkly like Judy. Why would I want that? Why would I want to be one of the plastics? With their bright clothes and their perfect hair, that's not me._

_It's bad enough that Judy is like that, my own sister. We couldn't be more different, she's just a kid but I know she's going to be one of them, the clones. Try as I might I can't make her see what a dull existence that kind of life is. _

_Back to the point; the concert. Sometimes Tear's music is all that gets me through the day, and all my dad can say is 'what a load of crap', he's never even tried to listen. The lyrics are beautiful, I can relate to all their songs. __Revive my life for the first time__ is just the perfect description of me. And just because my parents don't trust me I won't get to see them. I am seventeen; I'm almost an adult, why can't they give me a chance?_

Veronica cringed, this girl really needed some perspective. However, she doubted that Lara had run off just for a concert. So far the journal had told her nothing apart from the fact Lara Bolton was a typical angsty teenager. She flicked through a few more pages but it was more of the same. Just a lot of whining.

Frustrated she slammed the book onto the desk, she had hoped it would give her a lead, but it seemed to be a bust. Her dad came out of his office to find her scowling at the book.

"So, the dark thoughts of a teenage girl giving you any clues?" He asked, putting on his jacket.

"Not so much," Veronica replied, looking up at him. "To be honest it's an awful lot of poetry. You off somewhere?"

Keith pretended to shudder. "I have to head over to Hearst, Hazel went to a party a week before she disappeared."

"What a wild child," Veronica murmured.

"Yeah, I'll see you in a bit honey," he said, leaving her to it.

"Sure." Looking for a distraction Veronica pulled out her cell and dialed Logan's number, checking her watch as it rang. It was just before nine but she figured it wasn't _too_ early to call. However, there was no answer and after several rings it went through to voicemail again.

Veronica sighed and hung up, it looked like getting in touch with Logan was going to be harder than she first thought. She hoped she wasn't going to have to wait until she ran into him again. Of course she could always ask Mac for his address, but she'd try to phone a few more times first.

Shaking her head she pulled out the files on Michael Byrne, ready for her meeting with Paige.

* * *

Paige Fulton was right on time for her nine o'clock meeting, she breezed into the office and made a beeline for Veronica's desk. Veronica watched her approach, taking in the woman's appearance. She was dressed casually in a brightly colored sweater, and dark green maxi skirt. Her long brown hair was knotted on top of her hair and warm smile painted her as down to earth and approachable. If Veronica didn't already know she was a kindergarten teacher, it would've been her first guess.

"Hi are you Veronica?" Paige asked holding out her hand.

"That's me, it's nice to meet you Mrs. Fulton," Veronica said, shaking the woman's hand.

"Oh please, call me Paige," she said.

"Ok hi Paige," Veronica said, sitting down and gesturing for Paige to do the same. "We didn't have to do this so soon you know. Don't you have to teach some little kids their ABCs?" She asked.

"I'm still on leave after my mother… I go back next week," she said, fidgeting with her skirt.

Veronica smiled sympathetically. "So yesterday I told you on the phone that I'd tracked down your brother-"

"Yes, I couldn't believe how quick you were," Paige interrupted, she was actually bouncing in her seat slightly with excitement. "I must say I was a little worried when your father told me he was handing over the case, but he assured me you were good. He's definitely right on that front."

Veronica continued to smile.

"Were you really an FBI agent?" Paige asked.

"I was a profiler for the FBI yes," Veronica said. "Now back to your brother," she added, moving the topic away from her FBI work.

"Of course." Paige nodded.

"Now as I said, I've managed to track him down to an address in LA," Veronica began.

"Oh that's fantastic," Paige said, clapping her hands together.

Veronica nodded slowly, damn this woman was excitable. "Yeah. Now it's been a long time since you've been in contact, so I think we should take the next step carefully."

Paige looked disappointed. "Ok," she said hesitantly.

"I think you should start by writing him a letter," Veronica suggested.

"A letter?" Paige asked.

"Yeah, explaining why you're getting in contact, and how you would've done sooner, if you'd known he was still alive," Veronica explained.

"Don't you think I should just go down there?" Paige argued.

"I don't think that would go very well at all. To him it's going to seem like you didn't want to talk to him," Veronica said.

"But I didn't even know he was alive," Paige said sadly.

"I know, but he doesn't know that remember?" Veronica reminded her.

Paige sighed, but nodded in agreement. "I guess you're right. Yeah you are, I'm thinking about this from my point of view. I'm desperate to cling to the remnants of my family, but he's moved on he left for whatever reason and it's probably not something he just wants dragged up again."

"Exactly," Veronica said, glad that Paige was coming around to the plan.

"So can I have his address?"

Veronica hesitated.

"You're not going to give it to me are you?

"Not yet, I used my FBI connections to track him down, I wouldn't feel right just giving it away," Veronica explained. "Let's face it, we're already much further ahead than you expected."

"Wow you're tough. Ok I get it, I'll go write my letter, I'll bring it back once it's written," she said.

"Good."

"What if he doesn't want to meet up?" Paige asked nervously as she gathered her things.

"Honestly, I don't know," Veronica admitted.

Paige nodded. "Thank you Veronica," she said, getting up. She smiled and made her way out of the office. "Oh hi Mr. Mars," she said, as she reached the door.

Veronica looked up to see her dad walk into the office. She had picked up the journal again, but her dad was hovering by her desk. She placed the book back down on the desk and looked up at him expectantly.

"So is Paige off to meet her brother?" He asked.

"Not exactly," Veronica replied.

"No?" Keith frowned.

"No. I really don't think she should just go down there dad," Veronica said.

"Why not? I thought it was pretty open and shut, you could've just given her Michael's address and let her take it from there." He asked. "This case with the three girls is going to take up most of our time, if you want in on it."

"You know I do," she said. "I just didn't want her rushing into things,"

"You don't trust her?" Keith asked, leaning on the desk.

"Not to go straight down there, no I don't," Veronica said.

"I think she's the real deal Veronica," Keith said. "She really is his sister."

"I know that, I'm not worried about that. But… did you read all the letters she brought with her?"

"No I'd barely gotten started," Keith admitted.

"I read them all. Up until 2007 Michael... or Lucas… would always write at the end of his letters to his mom: did Paige get my letters? And his mother would always lie. Paige never got those letters, but to him? To him it's got to look like she wanted nothing to do with him, that she took his father's side.

"So he gave up writing to her dad. I don't think if she goes down there and surprises him, it would be good for either of them. Plus let's face it we're in no hurry, I'm already miles ahead on the case," Veronica assured him.

"Hey! I could have found him just as quickly," Keith argued.

"Oh really?" Veronica joked.

"What are you doing now?"

"I am about to continue snooping into Lara Bolton's personal thoughts," she said, picking up the diary and waving him away.

"Point taken," Keith said, leaving her alone to read.

After trawling through pages of complaints about Lara's oh so difficult life, Veronica finally came across something more interesting.

_November 10th:_

_Today Alex actually spoke to me! I showed him some of my drawings. He said they were beautiful. He's so smart. And when those plastic bitches started laughing as they walked by, Alex just ignored them. He didn't care. Obviously people are just nicer where he's from. I asked him what it was like but he wouldn't tell me where he moved from, or why. I think it might be a difficult issue. But I'm not going to push, he needs to see that he can trust me, then he'll open up. Alex is so much more interesting than any of the other guys around here. He has secrets I can see it in his eyes, it's a hidden darkness. It's beautiful._

Please please don't write any poetry about him Veronica thought to herself. She continued to scan the entry; it was all about this guy Alex, who appeared to be new to Neptune. She flicked forward a couple of entries; Lara seemed to have developed quite the crush on Alex over the past few months. She found his name in every entry, and the tone seemed to suggest the two teens were seeing a lot of each other. Veronica wondered if he was involved in her disappearance, although it seemed unlikely. However, if he was as close to Lara as her journal suggested, she may have confided in him. It was definitely worth looking him up, but unfortunately Veronica only had his first name to go on.

"Hey dad, did the Bolton's ever mention a kid named Alex to you?" She called out.

"No why?"

"I don't know. Lara talks about him a lot though, I think she might have had a crush on him," she explained.

"Really? That's interesting because the Hensleys said Hazel had a boyfriend called Alex, think it could be the same guy?" Keith asked, coming out to talk to her.

"Now that _is_ interesting," Veronica said, tapping her pen on the desk thoughtfully.

Keith nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but Marcus Hensley put a stop to it. He was not a fan apparently."

"And the plot thickens. You know I think it might be time for me to pay a little visit to Neptune High," she said, gathering her things together.

"Really? Because security there is a bit tighter now, it might be hard to get in," Keith informed her.

"Oh please like that's ever stopped me. Plus I have my secret weapon," she said, pulling her badge out of her purse.

"Veronica," Keith warned.

"Relax dad, last resort only," she said.

Keith still looked nervous. "Maybe I should go to the school?"

"Honestly dad, Clemmons loved me. He'll spill all I promise," she said, grinning.

"You can't torture him," Keith reminded her.

"I won't torture my old principal, happy?" She said.

He nodded, but did not look convinced as she headed out of the office.

* * *

Her dad was right; security was even tighter now at Neptune High. There were security officers guarding the place, one of which was positioned at the front of the school, stopping any unauthorized vehicles getting in. Veronica couldn't even get close to the building without a good reason apparently and she was not on Officer Finicky's special list. The children of Neptune's fabulously wealthy were certainly protected while in school, not so much the rest of the time.

Said security officer was currently grilling Veronica, who'd tried lying about an appointment with Clemmons to no avail. She was beginning to lose her patience as this guy went through the protocols. Just as she was about to flash her badge, she heard Clemmons over the radio telling the guard to wave her through.

She smiled sweetly at him as she drove passed his booth, through to the parking lot. When she got to the front door of the school, Clemmons was stood waiting for her.

"Veronica Mars to what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked arms folded across his chest.

"Hey Van did you miss me?" She replied.

He smiled, shaking his head. "I presume you're here to cause trouble?"

"Not quite. My dad's working for the Hensleys and the Boltons, looking for two of your students," she informed him.

Clemmons sighed, a tired expression appearing on his face. "Come with me then," he said sadly, holding out his arm and guiding her inside the building.

He led her through the familiar halls to his office. The interior of the school hadn't changed so much. From what she could see the classrooms looked pretty much the same and the lockers were still the same bright yellow. A rush of nostalgia and memories flooded Veronica as she followed Clemmons down the old corridors she'd once walked almost every day.

When they got to his office Veronica sat down opposite Clemmons, waiting for him to speak. She'd noted that as soon as she'd mentioned the missing teens his entire posture had changed from relatively relaxed to tense, this issue was clearly something that was worrying him.

"The last I heard, the sheriff was treating this as a simple case of teenage girls running away," he began.

"As they are under eighteen he still has to investigate fully," Veronica clarified. "My dad is investigating on behalf of two of the families and he is taking it very seriously."

Clemmons leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "Do you think they just ran away?" He asked her.

"Honestly, yeah it seems that way to me," she answered truthfully.

"Well I don't. These girls are from three different social groups, they're not friends. And there's just no chance they would just decide to take a road-trip together, as I've already informed Sheriff Lindsay."

He had a good point Veronica supposed, but any number of factors could have thrown these three together and caused them to leave at the same time. She wasn't really expecting to get much more about the girls from Clemmons anyway. She needed info on somebody else.

"What can you tell me about Alex?" She asked.

"Alex?"

"He may have been dating Lara or possibly Hazel," Veronica said. "Or both," she added, with a smile.

"Yes I know who you mean, but Alex is no longer a pupil here," he informed her.

She sat up straight at this information. Alex had just been promoted an official person of interest. "What?" She asked, frowning.

"His parents transferred him, maybe two or three days before the girls were reported missing," Clemmons said, he looked confused at her line of questioning.

"And that doesn't strike you as odd?" She continued, ignoring his expression.

Clemmons shook his head. "Not really, he's a typical military kid, moves around a lot," he explained.

Veronica stood up and started to pace the room, as she thought things over. Had Alex really moved schools? Or was something else going on here? She remembered another student who once used his parents as an excuse for leaving Neptune High. She turned back to Clemmons.

"When did he start here?" She asked.

"September, he moved from Wisconsin I believe," he answered reluctantly.

"That's a pretty short stop," Veronica said, walking back to the desk and placing her hands on the back of the chair.

"I see no relevance to the case," Clemmons said calmly.

"Can I see his file?" Veronica asked.

"No." Clemmons answered.

"I'll just flick through it, I wouldn't even make a copy," she insisted, sitting back down.

"You couldn't anyway, all student records are digital now, and you Miss Mars do not have the authority to view them," he informed her.

She made a mental note of that fact. "I am an FBI agent," she reminded him.

"And this is not a federal case," he replied in the same tone.

"Not yet anyway," Veronica muttered, more to herself than to her old principal. "Alright well I think I've got all the info I need from you Van, thank you for being so helpful," she said cheerfully.

He looked at her suspiciously for a moment. "A pleasure as always Veronica," he said, letting her go.

She left the office and headed out to the lunch area, it was still mostly the same. Veronica smiled as she spotted her old table. She asked around until she was directed to a table where the third missing girl, Nicole Lewis' two closest friends Tess and Gracie were sitting. Veronica had decided she needed to get the whole picture on the three girls. She was also pretty confident that Alex had something to do with this, and needed to know if Nicole had had any dealings with him.

She walked up and pulled out her badge. "Hi there, I'm Special Agent Mars and I'm investigating the disappearance of Nicole Lewis. I've been told you're her friends?" She said, sitting down at the table.

"It's about time," one of the girls said. "I'm Gracie," she added.

That would make the redhead Tess, Veronica supposed.

"Yeah finally, like there's no way she ran away with those bitches," Tess said. "I'm Tess by the way. We're her best friends we would know this kind of stuff."

"I'm glad you agree Tess that was also my assessment." Veronica agreed smoothly.

Tess grinned. Making her feel smart was a great way to get her to open up.

"Now I'd like to ask you about Alex," Veronica began.

"Alex Baxter? I knew it," Gracie said, pushing away her lunch and turning to face Veronica properly.

Veronica made a mental note of Alex's surname; she hadn't failed to notice that Clemmons was not willing to give it out. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"He had something to do with this, didn't he?" Tess asked, leaning forward.

"Why do you say that?"

"Nicole thought she was in love with him," Gracie told her.

Veronica raised an eyebrow, who was this kid?

"Yeah he was always really nice to her, and she loved it, but honestly I thought he was creepy. Nicky didn't get a lot of attention from hot boys I think it went to her head," Tess said.

"Totally, there was just something not right about him. It was the way he looked at her sometimes, he had that look in his eyes," Gracie said.

"Look?"

"Yeah, like she was his prey," Gracie said.

"It was gross," Tess clarified.

"I'll bet it was," Veronica agreed. "Did you speak to him often?"

"No, he didn't talk to us, he treated us like we were beneath him," Tess said.

"Yeah, the asshole. It was because we didn't fall for his charms," Gracie said.

"Ok that's great info. Now I need to speak to Lara's friends, can you point them out to me?" Veronica asked, aware that she only had limited time before Clemmons found her.

"Yeah Lara's are over there in their crypt," Gracie said, pointing to another table. "You won't find Hazel's friends here though, they're probably at the beach. I doubt they even realize she's gone."

Something's never changed, it seemed the 09er kids could still just drive off campus when they felt like it. Veronica smiled at the two girls and stood up. "That's great thanks, here's my card if you think of anything else," she said, handing over her details to the two girls.

"Will do," Tess said.

Veronica made her way over to a table of sullen looking teens, reaching for her badge when she got there.

"No need, we already saw you interrogating the dork twins, but we ain't gonna tell you nothing," one boy said.

"Your friend is missing," Veronica pushed.

"No she's left this dump to be with her one true love," the angry kid said.

Veronica managed to refrain from rolling her eyes, but it was difficult. "Ok but what about Hazel and Nicole? They're missing too," she reminded them.

"Ok," A girl with close cropped purple hair said, gesturing for Veronica to sit down.

"No Tabitha," the angry boy snapped.

"Shut up Max I liked Nicole, she would always help me with my math homework," Tabitha said.

"What have you got for me then?" Veronica said, pushing the glowering Max out of the way and sitting down opposite Tabitha.

"Ok so Lara's been planning on leaving for a while, none of us were surprised when we heard the news," Tabitha began.

"And she's gone with Alex?"

"Definitely," Tabitha said.

"She's only known him a few months," Veronica said.

"Yeah but he's special, he just gets her," Tabitha tried to explain.

Veronica shook her head. "Sure. But what about Nicole and Hazel?"

"I don't know, just a coincidence I suppose," Tabitha said, shrugging.

"They're probably just crushed that Alex chose Lara, so they're off moping somewhere," Max chipped in.

"Of course, that makes total sense thanks Max, case closed," Veronica said sweetly.

Max scowled at her.

"Ok look, I don't know why the other two are missing. Hazel used to date Alex, but her father's too uptight. No one is good enough for his little princess," Tabitha explained.

"And Nicole?"

"I don't know, maybe-"

"Veronica what are you still doing here?" Clemmons asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Just chatting with some new friends?" She answered.

"Do I have to personally escort you off the premises?"

"No no I'm going," she said, getting up.

"So wait you're not an agent?" Max demanded.

Veronica just grinned at him before she left.

* * *

"Clemmons wouldn't tell me much, I think I've lost my sway a little," Veronica said as she walked into the office. "Did you know that school records are all digital now? I may need a little hacking done. Anyway this Alex Baxter apparently transferred from Wisconsin so I'm gonna do some digging, if we get desperate I'll go back with my badge, scare a few teachers."

Keith laughed as he tried to follow the new information.

"I did manage to talk to some students before I was shooed away. Alex disappeared before the girls, but Lara's' friends are convinced she ran away with him. Nicole's friends say he was beyond creepy. Also worrying, he only started at Neptune in September."

"Not good," Keith said.

"Nope," Veronica agreed.

"But I've got a surname, we can look him up, find out if he really has just moved on or if he's involved."

"Three runaway girls is worrying, three runaway girls with a teenage boy they're infatuated with is a lot worse," Keith said

"You got that right," Veronica said, firing up her laptop.

She began a search for Alex in the school databases, while her dad began searching through his files.

"So what have you found?" Keith asked a few minutes later, looking up from the filing cabinets.

"Not much, Alex Baxter is apparently a common name. Damn I wish I knew what school he left," Veronica said, glaring at her laptop screen.

"Well as you're getting nowhere, could you pass me the Serrato file?" Keith asked.

"I'm not getting nowhere," Veronica stressed, "where is it?"

"Over there on the desk." Keith pointed to the small pile of folders on the corner of her desk.

Veronica reached over and pulled them closer, she leafed through the bundle and pulled out the file in question. "That makes no sense dad," she said.

Keith just laughed.

"You ever think about getting a bigger place or maybe just going digital, if the school has managed it I'm sure you can."

"Nah, this suits me just fine honey. Here see I keep his file in here now the case is closed, you know that. It all makes perfect sense to me, I know where everything is."

"But dad-"

"It's my system and just because it isn't federally approved doesn't mean it won't work," Keith argued.

They were so busy with their friendly bickering that neither of them heard the door open or someone clearing their throat.

"Mr. Mars?" A familiar voice called out.

Both Veronica and Keith spun round at the interruption. Standing there at the door looking a little nervous and hesitant was Logan.

"Mr. Mars I need your help," he said quietly.

"Logan?" Veronica whispered, taking in his appearance.

He looked even worse than the night at the supermarket. His eyes were red rimmed and shadowed, his hair was sticking up like he'd been running his hands through it. But more than anything Veronica was shocked at how completely lost Logan looked, whatever was bothering him was clearly serious.

At that moment Veronica just wanted to hug him and chase away his troubles, but she didn't think that would be a good move, he hadn't even glanced her way yet.

Finally he looked at her. "Veronica?" He said, blinking as though he couldn't quite believe she was there. "Are you back?" He asked.

"Yeah."

Keith looked between them, waiting for one of them to speak. Logan just nodded, his eyes flitting around the room distractedly.

"Logan?" Keith prompted. "You asked for me help."

"Yeah sorry, Mr. Mars, I er... I really need your help."

"What's wrong Logan? You look like hell," Veronica said before she could stop herself.

"Feel like it too," Logan muttered. He stepped forward, swaying slightly.

Keith frowned and walked over to him, pointing him to sofa. "Logan when did you last sleep? And what's going on?"

Veronica watched nervously from where she'd frozen behind the desk, before getting up and walking toward the couch.

"It's been a while," Logan admitted, all but falling onto the sofa. "It's Jo, she's sick, she's really fucking sick," Logan choked out, before burying his face in his hands, taking in shuddering breaths.

Who was Jo? Veronica frowned, but ignored her curiosity in favor of her concern for Logan. She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and handed it to him wordlessly, kneeling down beside the sofa where he sat.

"Breathe Logan," she whispered, placing a hand on his back.

Keith gave her a grateful smile, and turned to Logan.

"How sick are we talking here Logan?" He asked.

"Leukemia, she's um... she's started chemo and the doctors are really hopeful. But she's gonna need bone marrow, to prevent a relapse. She's on the list but..."

Keith nodded thoughtfully. "But?" He prompted gently.

"But I'm not her dad," Logan whispered. "I'm not even her uncle biologically. Trina was adopted remember? And I don't know what to do, if she doesn't get bone marrow the chemo's going to make her really ill. She got pneumonia last month, Mr. Mars. She was so ill," he begged

Veronica didn't know what to say, she was completely shocked. She'd frozen again, kneeling beside Logan, keeping her hand on his back. So this was the secret Mac and Logan had kept from her all this time. It certainly was a big one. However, she couldn't bring herself to be angry about it. She'd kept Logan at a distance not the other way around. Both Mac and Wallace had told her how Logan liked to hear how she was doing. She'd offered him no such courtesy.

"Is she in the hospital now?" Keith asked.

"No she's been discharged for now, cuz um... because she's gonna be spending a lot of time there soon. Dr. Compton said to give her as much freedom as we can for now," Logan explained.

"So what can I do?" Keith asked gently, but Veronica knew he already had an idea of what Logan wanted. She could see he was working out where to begin.

"I need you to find her real dad. There's no name on her birth certificate. I don't even know where to start. It's not like I can ask Trina is it?" He asked.

He laughed, but there was a dark look in his eyes, which worried Veronica. She looked at her dad, but his face gave away nothing.

"Alright Logan, I'll help. Do you think this guy knows about her?" Keith asked.

"Doubtful," Logan said, shrugging.

"Then you know he could try suing for custody," Keith warned.

"Don't you think I know that, but Mr. Mars she could die," Logan said, standing up and pacing the room. Keith and Veronica watched him nervously. "I just have to give her the best chance, you know."

"Logan how long have you been dealing with this?" Veronica asked.

Logan froze and turned to stare at her, Veronica wondered if he'd forgotten she was there.

"'Bout four months." Logan mumbled.

Keith shook his head, rubbing his chin. "I'll find this guy for you Logan. Don't worry, you'll find a match, one way or another. It's still early days yet, I'm sure little Jo will be just fine."

Logan looked so relieved; Veronica had to wonder if he really thought her dad was going to refuse him.

"Thanks Mr. Mars," he murmured. He nodded to them and walked toward the door.

"Hold on a second Logan," Keith said, looking at the man before him. "Veronica, could you drive Logan home? He's clearly exhausted. Take his car and call me to pick you up later."

Veronica frowned, she doubted Logan would want her driving his car.

"It has a booster seat," Keith clarified.

"I can drive," Logan argued quietly.

"I don't want you on the road in this state Logan," Keith said sternly. "Twenty-four hours without sleep, is equivalent to a blood alcohol level of point one percent."

"Fine," Logan said, looking down at his feet. "I guess I must be wasted," he added.

Veronica wanted to cry, he looked so miserable. Instead she nodded to her dad, and walked toward Logan. She was still trying to process everything she'd just heard. Logan had a kid? Trina's kid? And where was Trina? If he couldn't go to her for help… well she didn't want to think what that could mean. She hesitated for a before holding out a hand for Logan. He took it without question and allowed her to lead him out to his car.

"Keys," she said softly, when they reached a Silver Mercedes SUV, so typically Logan. "I was almost expecting a minivan, or something more yellow," she joked.

Logan blinked and looked at her, clearly he was completely drained. He dug the keys out of his pocket and handed them over, wordlessly.

It hurt Veronica to see Logan like this, so quiet. The Logan she missed was always so talkative, he always had a response ready. He could be quiet too, some days they had sat for hours in comfortable silence, but it had never been like this.

"Where to?" she asked, as she got into the driver's seat, adjusting it for her significant height difference.

Logan leaned forward and flicked on the GPS; he punched in a few coordinates and then returned to staring out of the window.

"Okay then," Veronica muttered, wondering if she was going to get the silent treatment the whole way back.

"How come you're back in Neptune?" Logan asked, surprising her.

"I'm on leave," she said.

"So something bad then," he said, still not looking at her.

"Yeah. Really bad," Veronica admitted.

Logan finally tore his eyes away from whatever was fascinating him outside. He looked at her and she could almost feel his eyes burning into her skin, looking for any visible signs that she'd been hurt. She didn't know what he saw; there were no real bruises apart from the fading one on her cheek.

"You ok?" He asked finally.

"Yeah."

Logan nodded, sighing quietly as if this was the response he expected.

"No," she whispered.

"Wanna talk about it?" He suggested

"I can't."

"Of course."

Veronica looked over just in time to catch the eye roll. So he _was_ still the same. Then she realized why he seemed so different. He was dealing with his problems like an adult, without alcohol or rage, this must be part of the all new Logan.

"That's not what I meant actually," she said. "I really need to talk to someone, and honestly when I was on the plane and whenever I wake up from the nightmares you're the first person I want to talk to," she admitted, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Then talk," Logan offered.

"I can't Logan, you have your own problems now," Veronica argued.

"I could use a distraction," he replied honestly.

"Not today, not in here the car. It's really fucking bad," she whispered

"Veronica?" Logan said quietly, placing a hand on her knee.

"I nearly died. God Logan I was so scared and it was my fault you know? I got myself into that situation I can't blame anyone else. But more than that, as I sat there about to die I'd never felt so completely alone. I've cut myself off from everyone for years, and I just… I can't live that life anymore."

"Were you hurt?" Logan asked, his hand still on her knee.

"Bruises and scrapes, but I'm ok now," she insisted.

"Physically?"

"Yeah."

"Mentally?"

"Not so much. It's pretty bad, nightmares and flashbacks. I don't know if I'm going to be alright, it's gonna take some time."

"How long are you on leave?" Logan asked.

"Six months but..."

"But?"

"But I don't want to go back," she told him.

Logan looked at her. "So you're staying in Neptune?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah maybe. I'm not going back to New York at least. I mean I'm going to have to go back, there's going to be a trail, and further investigations, but I'm not going back to the FBI." She admitted.

"You going back to private investigating then?"

"For now, yeah."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah good, I mean I'm glad your back, I missed you. Are you gonna help your dad track down Jo's real dad?"

Veronica held back a gasp at Logan's easy admission. It always seemed so easy for him to show his feelings. "Yeah," she said.

"Thank you," he said sincerely.

"So Jo?" Veronica asked, she just had to know more.

"Josephine Penelope Echolls, talk about child cruelty." Logan said it lightly but a dark look crossed his face, just for a second. Anyone else would have probably missed it but Veronica knew the look. "How pretentious can you get?" He continued, "But she was four when I got her I could hardly change her name."

"So you started calling her Jo?"

"No actually, but Josephine is such an old lady name. So I called her Sephy until about a year ago. Then she sat me down and told me she would no longer answer to Sephy and wanted to be called Jo or Joey. She's a real tomboy, bossy too, you'll probably like her.

"The other day..." Logan stopped, leaning his head against the seat. He closed his eyes and his fists clenched in his lap and Veronica just knew he was about to lose it. She began to slow down. "The other day while we were waiting in the hospital she said to me; at least now I can't stop her cutting her hair short."

"You wouldn't let her cut her hair?" Veronica asked.

"I'll show you a photo, you'll see why," Logan said, he was smiling but his eyes were filled with sadness. "What if she's not ok?" he whispered.

Veronica pulled over by the side of the road, and reached across to squeeze Logan's hand. That simple gesture must have broken something inside Logan because he began to cry quietly, holding her hand tightly like it was his lifeline.

Veronica said nothing, just sat there trying to comfort him until it passed. She wanted to get out of the car and rush round to Logan's side, but she didn't dare let go. Instead she crawled across to him, wrapping her arms around his neck while he sobbed. Logan shoulders shook as he cried, but apart from a few gasping breaths he was silent. Veronica held him tight, closing her eyes to fight away her own tears, until he pulled away.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I'm trying to be strong but…"

"It's ok Logan," she said, smiling gently. She grabbed some tissues from her purse and handed them over.

They sat in silence while Logan regained his composure, Veronica watched him carefully. "Ok?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

He still sounded tired, but some of the tension had eased. That saying about crying having a healing effect was obviously true, because Logan seemed a lot more at ease. He sat back in his seat smiling weakly at Veronica.

"You seem a little more relaxed," Veronica observed, starting the car.

Logan shrugged. "I'm sorry for crying on you, I just… I've been trying to deal with this by myself and…"

"It's ok Logan, I'm glad I was here for you," Veronica said.

"I'm so glad you're back, you and your dad will find Jo's dad I'm sure of it," he said confidently.

"I wish you wouldn't put so much faith in me," Veronica said.

"Why not? It's what you do best. It's not like the FBI kicked you out because you were bad at your job. In fact I bet they want you to stay," he challenged.

"They do," Veronica admitted.

"Then I trust you to help me. You can only try your best. I'm not putting it on you to fix any of this, but you'll help right?"

"Of course I'll help, I'll do everything I can," Veronica promised.

Logan sighed in relief. "Thank you Veronica."

Veronica shifted in her seat, frowning. This all just seemed too easy, why was Logan being so nice to her after everything? She knew she should just be grateful, but it just wasn't in her nature to leave it alone.

"So that's it?" She asked.

"What's it?" Logan asked, looking confused.

"You're not mad at me? You're not going to yell at me for leaving without a word? What's wrong with you?" She demanded.

Logan stared at her. "Do you want me to yell at you?" He asked gently, in a tone that clearly said he was concerned for her mental well-being.

"Yes!" She snapped. She bit her lip, what was wrong with her?

"Ok I'll yell at you. Can we put it off for a few days though? I'm exhausted." He said, yawning.

"You're so… settled," Veronica whispered.

"A lot of therapy to thank for that. I'm not mad at you though. Not really. I'm… I guess I'm sad that you left Neptune to be happy, but you never really found it?"

"I'm sad about that too," she said. "God Logan, when did you get so mature?"

"I had to Veronica, I can hardly raise a kid while drinking and partying my life away," he said.

"It's more than that though, you seem almost… wise."

Logan laughed quietly. "I was mad at you. I lost control for a while, but I pulled myself out of it. Sad I know, but I wanted to be better, in case you ever did come back." He informed her.

"I miss the old Logan," Veronica said softly.

"Typical," Logan said shaking his head. "I just can't win with you."

"Not the drinking, or the partying, but the arguing," Veronica tried to explain, knowing she sounded stupid.

Logan raised an eyebrow.

"You always had a response, a snappy comeback. I could happily argue with you all day. Logan, you're so quiet now," Veronica said.

"You've caught me at a bad time, you should have come back sixth months ago. We could have screamed at each other for weeks if you'd liked," Logan said, smirking at her.

"I'm glad you find this amusing," Veronica said.

"I do," Logan agreed.

"Are you trying to annoy me?" Veronica demanded, turning to glare at him.

"I thought that's what you wanted," Logan said innocently.

"You… oh, very funny," she said, but she couldn't help but smile. "So…"

"Go on ask, I know you're dying to," Logan said, waving her on.

Veronica chewed her bottom lip, thinking about how to broach the subject. "You said, you've been dealing with this on your own," she said finally.

"Yeah. I mean Dick's been helping out and Maria too," Logan told her.

Veronica felt a stab of disappointment. "Maria?"

"Yeah she's a nanny. She helped out when I was still learning and she takes care of Jo sometimes. Jo loves her. I try to be there all the time but sometimes I have work… like once a month," Logan explained.

"Oh ok. So no girlfriend?" Veronica asked, before she could stop herself.

Logan snorted. "It's hard you know, there was a while ago, but she found out about Jo and bailed. I dunno, I kinda gave up. Jo's not too keen on people either, so yeah it's been a while, we're fine on our own though," he said.

"Aren't you lonely?" Veronica asked.

"Nah, I'm doing ok. Are you lonely?"

"I was, back in New York. I already feel better being at home with dad and-"

Veronica was cut off by the GPS informing her they'd reached their destination. She'd been so focused on Logan she hadn't even realized they'd driven right into the heart of the 09er district. She'd pulled up outside a large, grand looking estate.

"You live here?" Veronica asked, raising an eyebrow.

"God no," he said, chuckling. "Dick lives here," he explained.

He got out of the car and walked around to open the door for her.

"Dick lives here? And more importantly, you leave your niece with Dick?"

"Yeah of course, she actually likes Dick. He lives here with his wife and their cats."

"Dick's married?" Veronica demanded, stopping dead.

Logan pulled her forward. "Oh yeah, technically this is marriage number two, but I think it might stick. They've made it a whole year, they married last summer just after Jen graduated," Logan said, leading her toward the house.

"College right?" Veronica asked worriedly.

"Yes Veronica, college, she's twenty two," Logan said, laughing at her expression.

Veronica sucked in a breath. "Wow."

"It's not that bad," Logan said, but he was still laughing.

"Nah probably not, when I left Dick was twelve mentally so they're probably about the same age," Veronica said.

"Not even close, Dick is _still_ twelve, and Jen is about forty, it's really weird. They're happy though. She totally bosses him about but he loves it," Logan said, opening the door and walking straight into the house. "Jo where are you?" He called out.

There was some loud crashing and then heavy footsteps.

"Uncle Logan!" a little girl cried from the top of the stairs, she was being carried by a man Veronica instantly recognized as Dick.

Veronica watched her; she looked tiny in Dick's arms. She was wearing a green beanie hat, which was a little too big and kept slipping down over her face. She was thin and pale, with dark circles under her eyes, but she was smiling, clearly excited to see Logan.

"Hey princess," Logan said softly, reaching out to take her from Dick. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, just sleepy," she whispered, looping her arms round Logan's neck and leaning into his chest.

"Ok then, let's get you home. Thanks Dick I'm gonna head off right away," Logan said.

"No worries man, try and get some sleep yeah?" Dick said, watching Logan with concern.

Logan nodded and walked toward the door, so focused on Jo he'd forgotten Veronica was there. Dick had not.

"Ronnie?" he said, staring at her in disbelief.

"That's me," Veronica said, turning to go. She didn't want to get into it with Dick right now.

"You back in Neptune?" Dick asked, frowning.

"Yep."

"For how long?" He demanded.

"A while."

"Let her go Dick!" Logan called out. He was kneeling down, tying Jo's shoes. "That's Veronica she's going to drive us home, Uncle Logan's too sleepy," he said to Jo, picking her up.

Jo stared at her for a moment, before burying her face in Logan's chest again.

"Don't worry she's shy," Logan informed Veronica, before walking out the door.

Veronica made to follow but Dick grabbed her wrist, holding it gently.

"What are you doing Ronnie?"

Veronica bristled, feeling instantly defensive, but when she turned to look at Dick, he just looked worried.

She took a deep breath.

"Look I just gave him a ride. He came into the office, he needs my dad to help track down Jo's biological father, to help her get better," Veronica explained.

Dick nodded.

"He's too tired to drive that's all," she insisted.

"Tell me about it," Dick muttered. "Why are you back in Neptune?"

"I just wanted to come home, things with the FBI... I just needed to come home. It's none of your business though." She said, she couldn't help being short with him, it was Dick after all.

"And Logan?"

"I miss him-"

"Ronnie-"

"I miss him," she repeated. "But I knew he was happy so I was going to leave him alone, till I got sorted. I'm a mess, I know he doesn't need that. But he came to us."

Veronica was surprised to see concern on Dick's face.

"Are you ok Ronnie?"

"I wouldn't be back if I was ok," she said quietly.

Dick nodded, Veronica took that as her cue to leave. "Take care," Dick said quietly.

Veronica walked toward the door.

"He misses you too, don't... don't rush things. I'd warn you off, I planned to as soon as I saw you, he's got a good life with Jo. But he's lonely too, it's been him and Jo for four years now. He's so reclusive these days, worse than ever. Plus Jo hates strangers."

"I'm no good for him," Veronica said sadly.

"I'd be the first to agree with you there Ronnie, but Logan's stronger now, he can handle your shit. At the very least you both need closure." Dick said.

"Thanks Dick," she said, trying and failing to hide her alarm. Who knew marriage would mature Dick Casablancas?

Logan and Jo were in the car when Veronica got there.

"Dick giving you trouble?" He asked, once she'd sat down.

"Something like that," Veronica said.

Logan smiled apologetically. "So this is Jo, my pride and joy," he said gesturing to the back seat. "You gonna say hello to Veronica Jo?"

Jo stared at Veronica with her wide green eyes, unblinking and slowly shook her head.

"Don't worry, it took months before she would talk to Dick," Logan offered, "she doesn't like people."

"Hmm who does that remind me of?" Veronica asked smiling, trying not to feel hurt.

Logan just laughed.

"Where to?"

"Stonehill Drive," Logan answered.

"That's right on the beach," Veronica noted as she started the car.

"Yep, no need for a pool, the sea's practically in the backyard," Logan told her.

"No mansion with pool house then?" Veronica joked.

"I hated my house growing up Veronica, I wanted something different. I wanted a home," Logan said, stifling a yawn.

Veronica nodded in understanding. She turned to speak, but Logan had fallen asleep his head against the window. She smiled, in his sleep all the worry left his face and he looked much younger. She checked the rearview mirror; Jo was still awake, playing with some sort of console. She looked up at Veronica.

"You ok?" Veronica asked.

Jo narrowed her eyes and scowled at Veronica. It was so similar to one of Logan's glares that Veronica just grinned and returned her eyes to the road.

Twenty minutes later Veronica pulled up onto Stonehill Drive, she slowed down, but noticed Jo shaking her head.

"How far is it?" Veronica asked.

Jo pursed her lips, Veronica could tell she was debating whether or not to answer.

"I won't tell anyone," Veronica said.

Jo frowned. "It's all the way down the road, the last house," she whispered.

"Thanks," Veronica said.

She found the house easily after that. It was set far apart from the other houses on the street, up on the rocky cliff face. Veronica could make out a path that led right down to the beach.

The house itself wasn't a mansion but it was still big. Two stories: it was a modern minimalistic building, all white wood paneling and glass fronted. But the front yard was full of kid's toys, a bike and a skateboard. It was beautiful but lived in. Veronica could see into the spacious living room through the large glass panel, instead of the whites and golds of Logan's old estate it was filled with color and more toys, a real home.

Because there weren't any other buildings around Veronica could see the miles of ocean behind the house.

"It really is in your back garden," she whispered.

"Yeah," Logan said, blinking awake.

"No gates?"

"No need, no one knows I'm here," he explained.

"That's good, you've got a good life Logan and I'm sure everything's going to work out," she said, getting out of the car.

Jo got out of the car by herself, batting Logan's hands away before he could help her. She marched off to the house, turning round to give Veronica a withering glare before going inside.

"I think she likes you," Logan said.

"Wow, I'd hate to see how she treats her enemies. So you really have a kid huh?"

"I know bet you couldn't believe it, me a responsible adult. She's great though, I'm so lucky," he said, smiling. "Do you want to come in for coffee? I'm suddenly feeling energized."

"I probably shouldn't," Veronica said quietly.

Logan shrugged. "Okay. Do you wanna take my car? I can pick it up later," he offered.

Veronica hesitated, she didn't want to leave yet. "Actually I'd love a coffee," she said impulsively.

Logan chuckled. "Indecisiveness doesn't suit you," he said. "Come on in."

Veronica took his arm and followed him into the house, shaking her head at her behavior. But walking into Logan's home she couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be right now. For the first time in days, her chest hadn't tightened painfully at the mention of the FBI. She wasn't forcing herself to think of anything but her ordeal. She was no longer looking around nervously for any sign of a threat. She didn't realize it but she felt safe again.


	4. Chapter 4

When they stepped into the house Logan turned to face her. "Last chance to run away," he offered, holding out his car keys, a small smile on his face.

Veronica shook her head. "Nah, I wanna see your house. You know me, I'm nosy."

Logan chuckled. "Of course, well feel free to poke around," he offered, kicking off his shoes and throwing his jacket onto a chair. "Stop hovering," he said when he realized she was still standing in the doorway.

Veronica stepped over a discarded pair of roller skates and into the house. She took a moment to look around, taking in her surroundings, trying to figure out anything she could about Logan's new life.

She was standing in the living room, it was open plan, separated from the dining area by large rectangular arch. Beyond that she could make out the kitchen. Each distinct area flowed into the next making the already large space seem huge.

It was a modern house, but the furniture looked comfortable and practical rather than stylish and expensive. There were colorful posters and photos on the walls, and scattered over the floor were books and toys. The dining table appeared to have been converted into a makeshift art corner, covered in paint pots and modeling clay. It wasn't a show house, it was a home.

Jo was sitting on the sofa, flicking through TV channels. Logan was behind her leaning against the sofa watching Veronica scrutinizing the place.

"It's normally tidier than this," he said, as she continued to make her observations.

Behind him Jo snorted.

"No it's a good mess, makes it homey," Veronica replied. She ran her hands over the back of a chair, stroking the soft fabric.

"So welcome to my humble abode," Logan said.

"Humble? This place is huge," Veronica replied, laughing as she began to relax.

"No it's not, not really," Logan said, fiddling with his sleeves.

From the slight frown on his face, Veronica could see he was remembering the mansion where he'd grown up. He was right of course, compared to the old Echolls' estate, the house was a lot smaller. "It's huge to me though, you have to remember I've been living in a tiny apartment in New York for the past few years. Even my dad's house seems huge," she reminded him.

"So would you like a tour?" Logan offered.

Veronica smiled and nodded. "I would love one," she said.

"Come on then," he said, pointing to the stairs, "and stop fidgeting. Relax, it's just a house." He turned to Jo, who was still channel surfing. "Wanna join us?" He asked.

"I'm aware of where everything is thanks," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Behave yourself then," Logan said, before heading to the stairs.

He began to walk backwards up the stairs. "We'll do up here first," he said, hopping up onto the top step.

Veronica stepped past him to get a closer look at the view. It was after six so the sun was already setting, but during the day the house would be well lit. The sun would stream in through the glass wall, which seemed to extend along the west face of the house. As it was she had a perfect view of the pink and purple sky over the waves.

"Ok so there's not much up here," Logan said, interrupting her thoughts. "Personally, I still think the downstairs is the best part of the house, but this is pretty cool too." He led her down the hall. "You think that view was good, just wait," he said, when they reached a glass door.

It led to a roof deck, Veronica stepped out and almost skipped toward the edge. "Oh wow," she murmured. She stood on her tiptoes and hung over the railings, craning to get a clear view of the ocean crashing against the sloping cliffs.

There were no other houses in sight, it was private and secluded, but almost lonely.

"Are we even still in Neptune?" she asked.

"Just," Logan said, "it's pretty neat huh?"

"It really is," Veronica agreed. She turned to face him, leaning against the railing. The balcony was spacious, about as big as her old living room. There were two battered sofas under an arbor and a weather beaten wooden table and chairs beside a grill. Just like inside there were toys littering the ground.

"Is that a telescope?" Veronica asked, "I wouldn't have thought you were one for stargazing."

"Not mine, it belongs to the little science nerd downstairs," Logan informed her.

"Really? Jo's a nerd huh? That must be hard for you. Do you have to resist the constant temptation to flush her head down the toilet?" Veronica joked.

Logan put his hand to his heart, feigning shock. "I've never done that in my life," he replied, pulling her back to the door.

"Steal her lunch money?"

"Kinda redundant seeing as it's my money," Logan replied, "plus didn't you hear? Nerds are cool these days," he informed her.

"What? Clearly I missed that memo," Veronica replied.

"It's true I'm afraid, you should see Jo's friends. This one kid Jett wears a lab coat to school, I swear to god. I blame computers and the internet," Logan said, as he led her back inside the house.

"Jett? Is that even a name?" Veronica asked.

"Gwen Parks' kid. She's that chick from Cannibal Wolf and other such crapfests," Logan explained.

"Ah Neptune, still home to the movie stars and their unfortunate children then?" Veronica asked.

"Yep pretty much. Gwen's ok I guess, tolerable. Friendly enough, in that false shallow kind of way. But I can't choose Jo's friends for her, it wouldn't be cool. Plus I turned out alright didn't I?"

"Yeah you did," Veronica said. "Can I assume that's Jo's room?" she asked, nodding at a door covered in keep out posters and fake yellow crime scene tape.

"Yeah I don't get that, it's only me here. Come on I'll show you, it's not as bad inside," Logan promised.

"It says keep out," Veronica replied.

"Yeah but this is way too awesome to miss, come on," Logan said, ignoring the warnings and opening the door.

They stepped into the room, which was tidy, compared to the mess of toys scattered throughout the rest of the house. But it wasn't the neatness that struck Veronica, it was the decor. The whole room was varying shades of blue, from the indigo soft carpet underfoot to the sky of the ceiling. There was a built in closet on one wall, decorated like the entrance to a pirate's cove. The bed was a little wooden ship complete with portholes and sails pinned against the wall.

"This is so cool."

"Wait for it," Logan said, walking over to the window and pulling the blinds, shutting out the fading light. "Hit the lights, the first switch," he said.

Veronica flicked it and a light came on from some sort of special projector. It had the effect of rippling the light, like it was shining through water.

"Awesome right?"

"Wow, this is seriously cool. Someone likes the ocean almost as much as you," Veronica said.

"Yup," Logan said.

"So can I take it that Jo is a little surfer chick?"

"Damn straight, she knows she'd be disowned if she didn't surf," Logan joked. "She's pretty good, for a little kid I mean."

"I suppose you were a pro surfer age six?" Veronica said.

"Of course I was," Logan replied. "No she's a quick study, and of course I am a fantastic instructor," he said. "When she was little she used to ride on the front of my board like Lilo."

"Cute," Veronica said. "I don't know what's more adorable, that image or the fact that you watch Disney."

Logan just grinned.

"So come on, show me the rest of this house," Veronica demanded.

"Follow me."

"So does your room have a similar set up?" Veronica asked.

"I wish, but alas I am an adult, and thus have an appropriately boring adult bedroom. Here," he said pointing to the door.

"Is it green?" Veronica asked as he opened it.

"How did you guess?" Logan asked, frowning and stepping back to allow her into the room.

Veronica shrugged. "I guess I always associated you with green," she said quietly, more to herself than to Logan.

"Ok," Logan said. "Well here we are, my boring green bedroom."

The room wasn't green it was white, but the bedding and shades were forest green. The soft carpet was a paler shade and the dresser and bed frame were dark wood, giving the room a fresh earthy atmosphere.

"It's nice, I bet it's sunny during the day. God I've missed the sun," Veronica said. She sat down on the bed facing the windows, running her fingers over the soft blankets, fidgeting.

"No sun in New York?" Logan asked, standing opposite her, leaning back against the window.

"Yeah sometimes. It'll be snowing soon though," she explained.

Logan shuddered. "Sounds awful. Don't get too comfortable, you have to see downstairs yet," he said, holding out his hand.

Veronica took it and allowed Logan to pull her back up, together they walked back to the hallway. Veronica realized she was still holding Logan's hand, she dropped it and shoved her hand in her pocket, shuffling where she stood.

Logan raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. "When I bought this place it was just the one floor, much smaller. But it was all I wanted, I got it for the location not the size," he said as they walked back downstairs. "I added the upstairs when I needed to, but I still prefer the downstairs."

"Did you build it yourself?" Veronica asked.

"Did I fuck, manual labor, me? Don't be ridiculous. I had control over the design though," he assured her.

"I can tell," Veronica said.

"So this is the original living room, the kitchen was in that corner," Logan said pointing behind the TV. "I had the walls knocked down to open it up, make it feel bigger. This is Jo's favorite room obviously," he said, gesturing to various consoles around the TV.

Jo seemed to be engrossed in the game she was playing. She hadn't even looked up as they came downstairs.

"No my room is my favorite," she said, eyes still glued to the screen. "But this is a close second."

"Do you want dinner?" Logan asked, placing his hands on the back of the sofa.

Jo shook her head. "I ate at Uncle Dick's," she said.

"What did you eat?"

"All my vegetables," Jo replied.

Logan reached out and removed the controller from Jo's hand, pausing the game as he did so.

Jo turned round to face them. "Er... Pizza," she answered, biting her thumb.

Logan twirled the controller in his hand. "And?"

"And fries," Jo continued.

Logan waited.

"And ice cream and cookies," Jo finished.

Logan shook his head in despair. "Right it's gonna be fruit and vegetables all week for you," he said, handing back the controller.

"Gross," Jo muttered, turning back to the TV.

Sounds of gunfire and explosions once again filled the room.

"Er should she be really playing that?" Veronica asked, as she watched Jo blowing up zombies.

"You're right. Jo why are you playing Dawn Massacre? It's mine, where's the Dora the Explorer game I got you?" Logan asked.

"What? You bought this for _me_. As if you could play this, literally all you play is MarioKart and PGA 16," Jo scoffed.

"I could play that in my sleep," Logan argued. "Can't you at least pretend to be a regular kid so that Veronica here thinks we're a wholesome family unit?"

Jo snorted. "We are not a wholesome family. It's just the two of us for a start. Wholesome is boring anyway. We don't need to be a wholesome family, we're an _awe_some family," she said, kneeling up on the sofa, hands on her hips.

"Clever," Logan replied.

"Now go away. I've got undead to kill."

"Ok ok, we'll be out back if you get scared of the zombies," Logan said. He placed a hand on her head, stroking her hat. He was clearly used to ruffling the hair Jo had lost.

"As if," she replied, shrugging him off and proceeding to wipe out a crowd of them.

"Cute kid," Veronica said as they walked to the kitchen area.

"Scary kid."

"She seems kinda old for her age," Veronica observed, hopping up onto a stool.

"Yeah, she's always been like that." Logan rubbed his chin. "It's my fault I guess, I was never really one to coddle her, I may have been a little too honest about the real world. By the time I realized the effect it was having it was too late, she was as cynical as me. I've tried my best to fix it and get her to act like a normal kid, but it doesn't work."

"I'm sure she's just fine exactly how she is." Veronica watched Logan pour her a coffee. "This is a really beautiful house," she said, running her hands over the cool marble counter.

"Thanks," Logan said.

"So.. how long have you lived here?" Veronica asked.

"Since final year, I kinda got tired of living in the hotel. Of course I couldn't leave Dick behind, so he lived here for a while. He moved out after graduation," Logan explained.

"It's great, it's so light, the exact opposite of the suite at the Grande," Veronica said.

"That was the plan, come on let me show you my office. It's the best room in the house," Logan said, handing her a cup of coffee, just the way she liked it.

He took her arm and led her back out of the kitchen, they went through to a separate room at the very back of the house. It was nothing like an office, there wasn't even a desk, just a sofa and a comfy chair, on which sat an open laptop. There was a wall lined with bookshelves, but the main feature of the room was the back wall. The large windows which extended along the west wall of the house reached here too. She walked over to it, the house was up on a sloping cliff and she could make out the path down to the sand.

"It's like you have your own beach," Veronica observed, noting how it would be difficult to access the beach without going through the house.

"I do, it's part of the land. The only way to get down is from the yard... or by boat," Logan told her.

"You have your own beach? That's..."

"Ostentatious?"

"Yeah. But it's amazing," she whispered, pressing her forehead against the glass.

Logan came to stand beside her. "It's not a big beach, just a small patch of sand really. But it's pretty good," he said, sliding open one of the windows and letting in the cool night breeze. Veronica breathed in the salty air.

"Does this whole thing open?"

"Mm hm," Logan said, nodding. He was gazing out to sea, lost in thought.

"It's quite an unconventional office, suits you though," Veronica said.

"Yeah," Logan said, his attention back on her.

"So-"

"I bet you have so many questions huh?" Logan interrupted, grinning at her.

"You have no idea. My main question is what the hell happened while I was away?"

Logan's grin faded a little. "It's a long story, another time perhaps," he offered.

"Logan-"

"Look you said you were staying in Neptune for a while, so if you can stand my company I'll tell you the whole sordid tale. Hell you could have found it all out years ago if you'd bothered to stay in touch."

He did have a point. "Logan… Fine whatever, I'll get it out of you," she assured him.

"No I'm not trying to withhold anything," Logan said. "I'm not hiding anything, it's just... I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now." He walked away from the window and flopped onto a sofa, throwing an arm across his face.

"Ok I guess," Veronica said, dragging herself away from the open window to join him.

Logan sat up so that she could sit next to him. "So you've been back what, a day? And I'm already at your door asking for help."

"No, I got back on Saturday," she informed him.

Logan's face fell slightly. "Oh."

"I saw you yesterday, at the supermarket. And then I tried to call you last night and this morning. I kept getting your voicemail," Veronica said, trying to assure him that she hadn't been avoiding him.

"Sorry I guess things have been pretty hectic lately," he said, running his hand through his hair. He yawned and lent back against the cushions, closing his eyes.

"It's ok, I get it. Shouldn't you go to bed?" Veronica suggested.

Logan sat up again, shaking his head. "Nah I'm good for a bit. You all settled in with your dad?"

"Yeah I'm here for a while, all my stuff from New York should be here at the end of the week."

"Wow, so you're really here to stay then?"

"Yep." She said, leaning back against the sofa, she curled her feet underneath her and turned to face Logan. He was staring ahead, thinking again. For some reason it annoyed her slightly, that he was so calm. She supposed she was a little envious of how he was handling his own problems so well, when she felt like a basket case. "I ran into Duncan yesterday," she informed him, after a few moments.

Logan smirked into his cup. "Oh yeah, he's been stateside a while now," he said.

"I know. Are you two still friends?"

"Yeah I guess. It's not the same though."

"No?"

"No. I mean yeah we're still good friends, but we're not as close as we used to be. We still hang out but it's not as the same. I guess I just miss how it used to be sometimes."

"How do you mean?"

"Well at first I was mad at him for leaving without a word. He had good reason to, but it hurt. He was supposed to be my best friend, he could've said goodbye. I think that just broke something, it was like the final straw I suppose. Plus we both had to grow up fast, it's like we've got nothing in common anymore," Logan explained.

"You both have kids now though," Veronica suggested.

"Ha! Have you met little Lilly Kane the second?" Logan asked.

"Briefly."

"Jo absolutely hates her," Logan said, laughing.

"Really?" Veronica asked surprised, Lilly had seemed sweet when they met yesterday.

"Yeah well the Lilly you met yesterday was probably a lot nicer than when she first moved here. I think she was angry at having to leave Australia, made her kinda mean. She told Jo she had no soul on account of her having red hair," Logan informed her.

"And she didn't take that well?" Veronica joked.

"She did not, she informed Lilly that she had no brain on account of her being blond," Logan said, laughing at the memory.

"Ouch," Veronica said, tucking her own blond locks behind her ears.

"She can be pretty cruel when she wants to be, can Jo. Nothing to do with me I swear," Logan insisted. "Anyway, things escalated and they fought a lot. Lilly's all settled now and no longer angry, but Jo is not exactly the forgiving kind. Refuses to even talk to her. There's like a four year age difference anyway, and that's decades to kids, we can't expect them to get along," he said.

"Maybe they'll be friends when they're older," Veronica suggested.

"Maybe." Logan shrugged, seeming unconcerned. "So Duncan?"

Veronica frowned, she should have expected this though, after all she had brought Duncan up first. "What about him?" She asked.

"He's still totally hung up on you, waiting to resume your fairytale or whatever." Logan seemed calm, but Veronica could see the old war in his eyes and he was tense.

"I know," she said.

"You don't sound so pleased to still be the object of his affection," he said, not trying to hide the surprise in his voice.

"He showed up at my apartment once, two years ago," Veronica said.

"Ok?"

"He expected me to come back to Neptune with him, just like that. Just drop everything and come play happy families," Veronica said, shaking her head.

Logan snorted. "Just like that?"

"Like I didn't have my own life. I think even after all this time he still thinks I'm still that girl from before everything went to hell. I suppose I thought I could be for a while, but I was just pretending. If Duncan and I were destined for a fairytale ending I would have gone with him all those years ago," Veronica reasoned.

"So you said no?"

"Of course I said no, I wasn't just going to drop my life and come back. He didn't even ask why I'd left. Didn't care that I had a career, open cases. I think he was just excited to see me but it really got me riled up, although I kept my cool. Annoyed is an understatement, I was quietly fuming. It felt like an insult," Veronica said.

"And now that you're back?"

"No idea, but I'm never going to be that girl he wants. And I wanted to be once, I tried to get it back, which was stupid because I like the person I became... after Lilly. But I like who I am. Perhaps I'm being too subtle, I'll just have to be blunt I guess. Yesterday he asked me in for coffee and I all but ran away from him. I can't handle it yet, so I'm just gonna blame the PTSD for now."

"And yet here you are," Logan said, he was facing away from her now, staring out of the window.

Veronica hesitated, frowning into her cup. "I've missed you," she admitted. "And now I'm worried about you and I'm desperate to find out more about your life, even if you're refusing to tell me."

"I'm sure Duncan could spin an interest-"

"Idon't want to talk about Duncan anymore," Veronica interrupted. "I don't even know  
why I mentioned it. But you were being too quiet, it made me nervous. It's like I wanted to annoy you, why are you so calm?" She demanded, feeling agitated.

Logan stared at her. "Veronica?" He said quietly, his tone patient and kind. He held his hands up, palms open and there was concern on his face.

Veronica took a deep breath. "I never let myself think about you when I was in New York," she admitted. "But if you'd shown up at my door asking me to come back, I honestly think I would've come with you. I would have been tempted anyway. Why do you think I cut all contact with you? It wasn't to hurt you Logan, it was because it was the only way I could move on. I needed to have my own life without you, we couldn't keep going, hurting each other.

"But I'm sorry though, really I am. It was cruel not to say goodbye, after everyone abandoned you, I can't believe I did the same thing. So I'm not sorry for leaving, I needed to leave, but I'm sorry for leaving you behind."

"I would have come with you, if you'd asked," Logan said.

"That would have been wrong. You would've come with me and we would have fought. Yeah maybe after several more goes we could have worked it out, but chances are we would have ended up hating each other. We knew how to hurt each other, badly. It would have driven us apart. Bloodshed and epic does not make a healthy relationship, no matter how good the songs are" Veronica said.

"That sounds almost familiar, what's that from?" Logan asked.

"That's a Logan Echolls quote, I paraphrased," Veronica informed him.

Logan looked startled. "I said that? When?"

"AlternaProm."

"Well I stand by it, even if I don't remember saying it. We were epic," he said.

"Yeah, but epics tend to go hand in hand with tragedy," Veronica mused. "Plus look at you now, you've done so well, and here I am, barely holding myself together." She took another deep breath, shaking her head.

"What happened to you Veronica?" Logan asked.

"I can't… I can't talk about it," she murmured, closing her eyes.

"Veronica," Logan pushed, taking her hand.

She chuckled to herself. "God I could use a drink," she said.

Logan laughed. "It's not even seven, my how you've changed," he said, getting up from the sofa.

Veronica frowned. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"To get the sodium pentothal," he said, winking at her and walking out of the room.

Veronica shook her head, amused. She got up from the couch and wandered over to the bookshelves to inspect the various pictures on the shelves. There were lots of photos of Logan and Jo, at the beach, at the zoo and various other family friendly attractions. In all the pictures Jo had beautiful waist-length red hair, braided into pigtails.

There were also a few photos of Logan with Dick, Mac and Wallace, from college, all taken after she'd left. As she walked along the wall the photos got older, shifted from college to high school, both before and after everything had gone to hell. She smiled at their young faces, how different things had been back then.

There was just the one of her and Logan alone, she recognized it, as one at the beach, during the summer before college. She still had the same photo, never able to bring herself to throw it away. Logan's copy was on a shelf above the large chair. If that was where he sat to work then he'd have a good view of it whenever he looked up from his laptop screen.

Logan still wasn't back so she put the picture down and began to peruse the books. There were hundreds on the tall shelves, but she'd always known Logan was an avid reader, no matter how much he pretended not to be. She was running her fingers over the spines when one book in particular caught her eye. She pulled it down from the shelf: _Lonely Luck_, by B. Wyatt. She glanced back at the shelf, there were three other books by the same author.

"Snooping?" Logan asked as he walked back into the room, armed with a bottle of tequila and shot glasses.

Veronica jumped, almost dropping the book. "No, just… yeah snooping." She grinned. "Did you write this?"

Logan shrugged as if it were nothing. "Yeah," he said, putting the bottle and glasses down on the coffee table, before walking over to join her.

"B. Wyatt? Billy and Wyatt?"

Logan smirked. "It's a good movie," he insisted. "I wanna be read because I'm good, not just because of my name," he added.

"Fair enough," Veronica said, nodding. "So what's it about?"

Logan took the book from her hands, running his hands over the cover.

"Oh just a little town in Southern California, Poseidon Hills," he informed her.

Veronica smiled, taking the book back. "Sounds almost familiar."

"Well they say you should write about what you know." He tapped his fingers on the shelves, he seemed nervous, like he was waiting for her approval.

"That they do. So?" Veronica pushed.

Logan shuffled. "The main character, Samantha Ares-"

"Really? Ares?" Veronica raised an eyebrow.

Logan looked a little coy. "Yeah," he said.

"You know I do know my basic Greek mythology?"

Logan grinned. "I don't know what you mean," he joked.

Veronica rolled her eyes. "So this Samantha Ares, what does she do?"

"She's... she's a private detective," Logan said.

"Fascinating that-"

"Face it, you're not the only detective around here," Logan said, placing his hands on his hips and stepping closer. "And detectives are really popular right now, have you watched TV lately?" He insisted.

"It's ok. If you _were _to base a character on me I'd be flattered," Veronica said. "Can I borrow it?"

Logan seemed surprised. Whether it was because she wasn't mad, or because she wanted to read his book, Veronica wasn't sure. "Yeah I suppose, go ahead," he said.

"So you're a writer? That makes a lot of sense," Veronica said.

"Yeah well you know me, I'm good at making up shit," Logan said.

"Don't do that, don't disparage yourself. Be proud you've written a book, three books even," she said, shaking her head. "Are you going to interrogate me now? Because I warn you, I was a federal agent, I'm pretty good at keeping secrets."

"I'll try my best," Logan replied. "So Jo's pretty distracted by her video game, I've told her to leave us alone for a bit. You'll have my undivided attention. And I brought the truth serum," he said, pointing to the table.

Veronica shook her head. "Tequila? Something's never change."

"Actually it's all I had, it's pretty old. You might be surprised to hear I don't really drink much anymore." Logan said, nodding and steering her back to the sofa.

Veronica sat down and watched Logan pour her a generous shot, sliding it across the table toward her. "After everything else, that's probably the least surprising thing about you."

"I'm not teetotal or anything," Logan admitted, taking a shot. "I just don't _need_ to drink anymore, I sometimes have beer in, but it's been a weird week, weird month really."

"So you never did AA?"

"No nothing like that, I don't think group therapy is for me. Thing is I never thought I was an alcoholic, but I had serious issues with the stuff. It wasn't till after a lot of therapy I realized how much I was really drinking. How dependent I was on the stuff, and how whenever something went wrong my first response was to crack open a bottle. I came pretty close to becoming like my mom, but I was stronger than she was I guess.

"A lot of the time I just wanted to shut off my thoughts for a while, I just needed a break from the constant doubts and fears."

"Seeking oblivion at the bottom of a bottle," Veronica said, smiling at the irony as she took her shot. She winced as it burned her throat.

"Exactly. Ok so yeah I was damn close to full on alcohol dependence, but I've dealt with it. Now instead of self-destructing every time disaster strikes I try to fix it."

"So therapy? I never thought you'd go for that," Veronica said.

"Oh yeah, a whole load of it, you should give it a try." Logan poured her another shot.

"I have an appointment on Thursday," Veronica admitted.

"Mandatory?"

Veronica nodded.

"Are you gonna go?"

"Probably," Veronica confessed, "everyone keeps telling me I should go." She fiddled with her sleeves.

"There's no point in going if you're forcing yourself, going in with the wrong attitude won't do you any good. Yes you should go, but only when you're ready. You'll also need the right therapist, if you don't like your federally approved shrink, may I recommend Dr. Anna Chin. She's pretty good, a real no nonsense woman." Logan offered.

"I'll bear that in mind," Veronica said, picking up her glass. She took another shot and then twirled the glass between her fingertips.

"Come on then spill all," Logan said, taking the glass from her and placing it on the table. "Your tongue must be sufficiently loosened by now."

Veronica shook her head, staring at her palms.

"Come on spill," Logan insisted.

Veronica held out her hand for her glass. Logan stared for a second before shaking his head. "I wanted to get you tipsy not wasted," he said, moving the bottle to the floor. He propped his feet on the table and sat back on the sofa. He seemed so relaxed, his body angled toward her, just waiting for the story.

Veronica glared at him. "I don't like this."

Logan smirked. "What?" He asked innocently.

"You being so in control, taking the lead."

Logan had the audacity to laugh. "Oh I bet you hate it, don't you Mars? Spill, you'll feel better," he said.

Veronica was quiet for a while. Maybe it was the alcohol, or just Logan's open attitude, but she really did want to talk about it. It was becoming difficult to keep it all bottled up. She took a deep breath, trying to sort her thoughts, she didn't even know where to begin.

"So can I assume you know that I worked as a profiler for the FBI?" She asked.

"Yeah, Mac told me. Said you were pretty good at it too. Your dad talked about you too. Oh so proud of his scary badass FBI daughter."

"I was pretty good I guess," Veronica said.

"You guess?"

"No. Yeah, I was good. And I really did enjoy it at first. I loved it, putting everything together to catch the bad guy. It's what I'm best at and I was fantastic at it really but..."

"But it started to wear on you?" Logan guessed.

"Yeah, see there aren't many cases where the good guys need to be profiled. By the time this last case came around, I was in a pretty dark place. It starts to haunt you, working on cases that already have a victim. No one to save really. By the end I was literally working and sleeping. I spent almost all my time at the office."

"Sounds like fun," Logan said. He placed a hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze, urging her to continue.

"Did you hear about the serial killings in New York?" Veronica asked.

"It was on the news. They said it had been going on for years," Logan said.

"Yeah," Veronica agreed. She clasped her hands together, twisting them.

"You worked on that? I didn't think the FBI did serial killings," Logan said, he was frowning now, concerned.

Veronica almost wanted to stop talking, but it was too late now. "They don't. I was helping the NYPD," she explained.

"How did that go?"

"God I shouldn't even be talking about this stuff, the case hasn't even gone to trial yet."

Logan just waited, not saying a word.

"So they had already made up their minds that it was this guy Wayne Gilmore, before they asked for my help. He's a lecturer at NYU, so he had access, but he had an alibi and they were getting desperate. They wanted a profile so they could build a stronger case against him."

"And?"

"And I disagreed with them. There was reasonable evidence against this guy: He'd been working at the university since before the first victim was killed. Someone matching his description had been seen at one of the crime scenes. But that was all circumstantial, I could tell he wasn't the guy. A creep sure, stalker at a push, but serial killer? No way. Another thing, I was certain that it was a woman, the notes she left, the method of killing. To me it all pointed to a woman." Veronica explained.

"What method of killing suggests a woman?" Logan asked curiously.

"None of this leaves this room ok?"

"Ok," Logan agreed.

"Her victims were all poisoned with sodium hypochlorite. Bleach, injected straight into their veins," Veronica told him.

"Holy shit," Logan breathed, he looked horrified. "Why the fuck?" He ran a hand through his hair.

"The killer, Rebecca Sheehan, you saw her on the news?"

"Er yeah, briefly in handcuffs."

"She believed she was cleaning their souls of sin," Veronica told him.

"Good god," Logan muttered.

"Yeah. She was raised by strict catholic parents. When she was thirteen her mother died and her father took her out of school to home school her. He was afraid that she would become like the other sluts at her school. His words. He taught her that those girls she saw on TV, that she saw on the streets had been corrupted by the devil and were headed straight to hell. When she spoke to a boy once, a neighbor, her dad beat the crap out of him," Veronica said.

She stopped, watching Logan, not wanting to bring up any of his past issues, but he seemed too concerned for her to be thinking of his own childhood terrors. "Anyway at some point he got sick and she had to go out and get work to pay the rent. She got a job cleaning at NYU, where she was exposed to these young women who were so free. She resented them, saw them as sinners and whores. So she lured them away when they were stumbling home from parties. Who would suspect this mousy ordinary woman?"

"Holy shit," Logan whispered. "That's terrifying."

"Yeah. She wasn't a genius by any means, she wasn't even particularly bright. But she was observant and she knew what she could get away with. She picked girls that wouldn't be missed right away, watched them for days, sometimes weeks at a time. We didn't connect the dots, because she would only kill every few years. It wasn't until her father died last year that things escalated."

"So back to you," Logan said.

"Well I interviewed students, asked around campus. This one girl, Elizabeth, told me that she'd seen this creepy woman around campus, just watching her and her friends. Captain Oliver disagreed on my findings, but I kept investigating anyway. I was sure I was right and I searched the staff for women fitting the description. That's how I came up with Rebecca Sheehan.

"Me and Detective Addison interviewed her, but we came up with nothing. God I was furious, you should have seen this woman calm as anything. She knew we had nothing on her. I'd cracked the case, but no one would listen. Only Addison believed it was her. Then someone came forward saying they'd seen Gilmore arguing with one of the victims."

"And your profile seemed unrealistic in comparison?" Logan guessed.

"Yeah," Veronica murmured, staring down at her hands.

"Veronica, please tell me you didn't go after this woman alone," Logan said, his tone deceptively calm.

"She was taunting me-"

"Veronica what the hell?" Logan jumped up from the sofa and walked over to the wall where he began to pace. As she watched him run his fingers over the spines of the books, Veronica realized he was trying to calm down.

"Logan?" She whispered.

He took a deep breath and returned to the sofa, sitting down much closer now. He looked terrified.

"I didn't go after her. I left it alone, watched as they started to make more things fit Gilmore, ready to make the arrest. But then Elizabeth disappeared. Sheehan knew I'd spoken to her, but she took her anyway. Gilmore wasn't in custody so everyone assumed it was him.

"I... I went to her apartment, she shouldn't have been there. But I was desperate and reckless. She wasn't supposed to be there." Veronica insisted, she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or Logan.

"But she was?" Logan asked.

Veronica nodded placing her head in her hands, trying to calm her breathing as panic began to take hold.

"Hey come here," Logan whispered, taking her hands. "It's ok, you're safe now. Breathe."

Veronica shook her head, staring at Logan through tears. She couldn't breathe, her chest felt tight and her head was spinning.

"It's ok Veronica," Logan said softly, placing a hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles. "Breathe," he repeated.

Veronica took a shaky breath, trying to focus on Logan's hand, trying to fight the flashes. "Logan!"

"You're not there anymore, you're here in my house. You're in Neptune remember?"

Veronica managed to catch her breath, but the sheer relief of being able to breathe pushed her over the edge and she began to cry in earnest.

"We can stop now," Logan said softly. "Let me call your dad." He sounded worried.

"I want to finish. I have to finish it," Veronica insisted.

Logan waited for her to continue, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"She was waiting for me... she'd been watching me since the interview. She knew I would go after her and she knew I was proud and stubborn and would go alone. Serial killers like to get the recognition. She wanted me because I'd noticed her…" Veronica trailed off as she was overcome by tears again.

"My god Veronica." Suddenly she found herself being pulled into Logan's arms. "You could've been killed," he whispered, holding her tight, as if he was scared she was going to disappear.

"I'm not at the worst bit yet," she said, sniffing and wiping her eyes.

Logan took a deep breath. "Continue," he said, keeping his arms around her.

"She took me by surprise. Chloroformed me, she took me to this abandoned church, the same place she took all her victims. I woke up tied to a chair. She was there, just laughing at me, telling me she knew how it felt to always be right in a world where no one listened. She even compared the two of us." Veronica shuddered as she remembered how her life had been described to her, with accurate detail.

"Veronica..."

"No she was right, she had me spot on. I was lonely, I had no friends, no life outside work. She had me profiled, just like I had her, and there really were similarities."

"A lot of differences too, I'm sure. Veronica you are nothing like this woman, you have friends, you're kind and strong, she was weak. She killed those girls because she was weak and wanted to feel powerful. You are nothing like that Veronica. Being lonely? That makes you human, that means you want people in your life."

Veronica began to cry again, but then had she really stopped. "God it was so horrible, it was so awful."

"What happened next?" Logan pressed.

"She brought out Elizabeth. Told me she'd let her go if I confessed all my sins," Veronica whispered.

"Did you?"

"Yeah I told her everything she wanted to hear, laid out all my faults but…" Veronica was cut off as another sob overwhelmed her. "But she killed her anyway, she killed her. Logan she pushed this girl to her knees and cut her throat right in front of me. Then she got out her tools and it was my turn.

"She dragged it out for hours, toying with me. Telling me her life story, how she was making the world a better place. I think that's the only reason I survived."

"How did you get away?" Logan asked, his voice shaking.

"Detective Addison was still suspicious, he noticed a rosary on one of the crime scene photos of Elizabeth's dorm. He recognized it as one that Sheehan had worn in the interview. He called me and then went back to Sheehan's apartment, when he got no answer. He managed to convince the building manager to let him in. She'd never hidden anything in her apartment because she never thought they'd check. Addison managed to piece it all together, thank God. But what's really terrifying? No one would've noticed for days. If Addison hadn't decided to double check, that would've been it, I would be dead."

Logan didn't say anything, he looked like he was in shock. Veronica just buried her face in his chest and sobbed. Logan rocked her as he held her, and Veronica felt herself relaxing, felt a little of the guilt easing and the terror fading. For the first time in days she felt safe.

"You're safe now," Logan whispered.

"I'm so tired Logan, but every time I close my eyes, I'm back there in the church, about to die," Veronica said.

Logan just stroked her hair. "She can't hurt you now," he assured her.

Veronica closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall asleep, it came easily helped by a combination of Logan's protective embrace and the sleep-inducing effects of the tequila.


End file.
